Spice - King of Good Times

It was a 'high' spirited Holi celebrations that had passengers happily cheering, but the aviation regulator who is very secular, is not amused with a communal celebration . In fact, it's making a song and  dance over the issue.

Spice jet welcome

The directorate general of civil aviation (DGCA) on Wednesday issued a show-cause notice to SpiceJet, asking why its licence should not be suspended, after a video of the cabin crew on a Goa-Bangalore flight dancing in the aisles went viral on social media.

Meanwhile actress Deepika Padukone faints after watching the video of cabin crew cavorted to Bollywood chart buster 'Balam Pichkari' from her movie 'Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani', though song may have helped the movie take off at the box-office, but 35,000 feet up in the air, while pilots took pictures on their mobile phones, Passengers can be seen in the video, cheering and clapping along, has made DGCA red in anger, who is now threatening to ground the airline.

DGCA promises Flyers the moon
After massive public outrage over the move by DGCA, DGCA in order to cool down the temperatures, and  revolutionize boring air travel in India has come up with a high flying proposal.

Hindi Film industry's "Heavy Weight" Ganesh Acharya

DGCA has approached Hindi Film industry's "Heavy Weight" Ganeshji, to teach air hostess some decent steps so that frequent movement of the dancing crew must not affect the aircraft's centre of gravity during flight and create on air high turbulence" .

After video went viral, e-ticketing website crashed soon after it was able to book 580 lakh e-tickets on March 19. It is the highest ever single day booking. "All these translate into a present daily transaction of more than Rs 63000 crores(US$ 1 billion) in single day, all of which make one of the biggest e-commerce sites in the world." TT Yaake* (Ticketing officer) said. (* Yaake = Why in Kannada)

Meanwhile far away from "Limelite", our mallo maam got a wonderful idea to convert his grounded rusting planes into high flying business, as his airline is yet to take off and after selling his high spirited business, he is contemplating a "joint Venture with Sunny Leone" in order to give its flyers a "Memorable experience", so that Investors, Staff, and the passengers aren't complaining.

Sunny Leone practicing in confined space

Mallo maam's airlines will hold magic shows, bachelor parties, Holi celebrations, diwali dhamaka, New year's celebrations, birthday celebrations and other festivities on board, while still aircraft is on ground was beyond even the wildest dreams, without any reason for untoward incidence, like this video below.

that's very cute and thanks mallo maam.!! so guys and gals get ready for some high flying fun in the air.

Sunny Leone getting ready for Holi action with Balam Pitchkari.

Dhan Dhan Gopal

Latest reports coming in, is that unidentified hackers have hacked into the salary accounts of a famous bank in attempt to steal some money, but by mistake those accounts belonged Kingfisher Airlines personnel's salary accounts. But fortunately, there have been no withdrawals from them (the accounts were almost empty, bank balance in decimal points, reason being they have not been paid salary since last august by the company) – details of which remain unknown at the moment.

Worrying as it is, Hackers instead debited the accounts of the employees with some money, they collected during their course of the normal business, after finding the miserable financial conditions of the beleaguered account holders.

The incident came to light after an employee recently received an surprise SMS alert on his cellphone stating that Rs 5000 has been credited to his bank account. The employee smelled a rat as he did not receive the salary for past one year from the company. Later he spoke about this to some of his colleagues and later learnt that he was not the only person.

As soon as news spread like wildfire in the town, the remaining employees of the grounded airline went on a hunger-strike at the Kingfisher House here seeking salaries which have not been paid since last August.

Kingfisher Airlines chairman Vijay Mallya told his agitating employees, who began a hunger strike, that he did not have money to clear their salary dues. “Listen guys, You have to seriously believe me, I don't have money to pay your salary dues” Vijay Mallya told Kingfisher staff.

"As many as 60-70 employees of the grounded airline are currently on an indefinite hunger strike at the Kingfisher House near the domestic airport," sources had told PTI.

The Kingfisher airline, which never made any profit since inception in May 2005, has remained grounded after the regulator DGCA cancelled its flying licence in December,

The business tycoon, who also is the Chairman of the UB Group, suggested betting be made legal after taking note of the turnover and profits in recent cricket betting scandal.

Driven by mounting losses, Vijay Mallya, now wishes to make gambling in India legal, it makes one wonder if the businessman is looking for legal alternatives to earn some easy money, after having made some extremely bad business moves recently, so that he can atleast pay for his travel.

Or Perhaps he is still left with some fortune. Now wants to lose it through gambling!

Worth every penny tears

In a surprising turn of events, Income tax officials have conducted search operations on residences of Ekta Kapoor, her father Jitendra and her brother Tusshar Kapoor for possible unaccounted assets, TV channels reported.

A team of over 100 income tax officials swooped down and searched Bollywood producer Ekta Kapoor for her "undeclared unaccounted assets."

Ekta Kapoor is likey to be quizzed by I-T officials later in the day, once the search of the assets is complete.

a not to be named IT officer said "I was wondering. How come its so big!" but instead officials found 100 litres of glycerine meant of consumption for Tv serial actors for daily soap opera.

Meanwhile, in a surprise turnaround, Mallya mam, has paid a month's salaries to his employees.( flackback: The Kingfisher airline has not been paying salary to its employees since May last year, while it had started delaying salaries much before the crisis broke out last October.)

The airline, launched in May 2005 as a gift to Vijay Mallya's son Siddharth on his 18th birthday has never made any profit till today, so in masterstroke plan, Management has decided to adopt tight hemline index approach and sought approval from its employees to revise the (Hemline*) expenditure limit for Kingfisher employees and to authorise its board of directors to take necessary actions in this regard.

*Hemline is the line formed by the lower edge of a garment, such as a skirt, dress or coat, measured from the floor.

the Company has denied that it has trimmed budget for clothing material meant for staff.The crew also hope to take only a small(Bob, Ponytail) haircut from the entire fiasco as they have collateral for good times.

but according to jaggu's unknown sources, Salary payment is done by sacrificing Mallya mam's and his son's monthly pocket money and entertainment and recreational' expenses, he distributed the same as a month's salary to some of his employees.

After hearing this news, Air fares crashed on Tuesday as airlines rolled out never-before offers to lure passengers and fill empty seats, unwilling to go down with a fight, mallya mam's Kingfisher announced a new seat offers, with a six-day sale of 2000 unused plane seats at the lowest possible rate of Rs 1 and louis XIII bottle with it.

Under the offer, customer has buy Louis XIII and extra pay Re.1 for a plane seat.

Meanwhile, Foreign tourists wearing "less clothes" at Goa beaches often blind visitors coming to the state, as they cannot see anything else, a witty Chief Minister Of Goa, Manohar Parrikar said Tuesday.

"Foreign tourists with less clothes brighten things so much that often you do not see anything else," Parrikar said, while making a point about how the overwhelming footprint of tourism in the state, often led visitors to the state to believe that Goa does not have any other "significant assets".

Further allegorising, the chief minister, who is known for his wit, said that just because one does not see the moon and stars during the day, does not mean they aren't there.

"It is just that they are hidden because of the sunlight" Parrikar said.

Foreign tourists wearing beachwear has often been synonymous with media coverage of Goa's beach belt. The state attracts over 2.6 million tourists annually, out of which half a million are foreigners.

Some go for 'Fenny'
Some go for 'Jenny'
Some for beaches 'Sunny'
Trip to Goa worth every Money's'Penny'

Double Tipple Trouble

Already reeling under massive financial crisis of his Kingfisher airlines, liquor baron Vijay Mallya was in for another shock -this time, his firm's greenfield beer plant in Karnataka could face action for "unofficially" polluting family values without Family control board clearance.

Family Environment Minister said he had visited the plant three weeks ago and found product tasted horrible and does not meet approval of the Family control board and said "suitable action" would be taken.

The state government's plan to act against UB comes at a time when Mallya is already under severe strain following months of problems in his airlines, whose licence was suspended by the civil aviation authorities.

On 'Girl hunt' Mission
Son Sidhartha Mallya after finding his girfriend dumped him and for whom Kingfisher Airlines was his 18th birthday gift from a doting dad -While the airline has been facing major trouble since September-end and is grounded from October 1,was agony of his unpaid employees.

On Friday, when the die of the licence getting suspended was cast, he tweeted:
 "Guys check out the 1st promo for The Hunt For The Kingfisher Calendar Girl 2013 featuring your truly."
And a day earlier, he tweeted his position: "Nothing beats the post 5oclock pub rush in London....best atmosphere ever!! Love being bk here....sometimes wonder why she ever left...."

"Just spent the morning playing volleyball with 12 bikini clad models on the beach...now I understand why people hate me. HA!"

"Have been unfortunate enough to attend GP races all over the globe....Korea is by far the worse. Feeling for everyone who's not there...."

Kingfisher Airlines debacle:
Vijay Mallya abroad, son hunts for calendar girls, employees in lurch, When the bad times came upon kingfisher, its founder - the king of good times Vijay Mallya -was nowhere to be seen or heard.

All his personal staff was willing to say was that "VJM (his nickname) is abroad", while Employees keeping track of VJM say he was last 'spotted' at nearby chandni dance bar attending the Oktoberfest event.

"VJM left India about 20 days back on his personal plane. He travels on his personal jet, VT-VJM, and as of now there is no news of his coming back to the country," said sources.

This seems to be worrying for Mallya's personal staff. A top Kingfisher executive recently called a senior official to 'jokingly' inquire if it was OK for Mallya to come home in the coming days for the first time since the airline's licence was suspended.

Will the Airports Authority of India (AAI) impound Kingfisher Airlines promoter Vijay Mallya, if he returns to India?

Mallya's staff is also worried as KFA has dues of about Rs 300 crore to AAI. Some cheques issued by Mallya have bounced.S o we are treating it as a personal liability and he could be impounded along with his corporate jet (VT-VJM)," said a highly placed source.

Apart from AAI, Kingfisher employees are also preparing to 'welcome' Mallya at the Formula One Grand Prix to be held later this week at Greater Noida with special SWAT teams (this news is below).

'Ready to become Race driver'
A pall of gloom has enveloped the world of the employees of Kingfisher Airlines after its flying licence was suspended. Those who had made several investments when the going was good are now reeling under debts, having not been paid salaries since March. Some are in a desperate hunt for jobs elsewhere such F1 pit crew, F1 Track Marshal, auto driver, race car driver.

KFA pilots and employees are speculating that Mallya senior may be in Delhi next weekend for the Greater Noida Grand Prix. They are planning to protest non-payment of wages since March by taking Kingfisher planes  racing on Grand prix.

Some are planning to Eggs Pelting at the event, while according to some, Vijay Mallya will be heckled and shown chequered black and white flags, Bounced Cheques, Credit card dues, Home loans application rejection papers of Employees, angry over non payment of salaries.

The employees are agitated by the fact that while they have not been paid their salaries, Mallya and his family continue to lead a "lavish jet-setting" life.

According to "Highly placed" sources one option is land in neighbouring country then take a a sea route on his Sea princess without getting notice by people like State Guest Kasab.


So Employees has formed an "all-female unit - Burkha Brigade" - A SWAT (Special Weapons And Tactics) Team to infiltrate and trap Mr.Mallya when he arrives in india.

This All Women Team are thought to be in age group of 18 to 25 from missionary school, secret tabloid The Moon reported today.

SWAT experts say as women are less likely to attract suspicion than men, that's why they are employed for specific purpose.

According to confidential sources, these Women will be trained to perform high-risk operations that fall outside of the abilities of regular employees.

SWAT team members' duties include: performing High risk suspect Man Hunt, Search and Arrest operations; subduing barricaded suspects; and engaging heavily-armed Corporates and Management Teams.

All-female Special Weapons And Tactics Team unit will be using a fearsome array of weapons, unimagined by Man-kind. They will have specialized equipment including "heavy body armor with ballistic shields", "entry tools", Fast vehicles for quick deployment, advanced night vision optics for Night Operations, and motion detectors for covertly determining the positions of Suspect inside enclosed structures.

SWAT Vehicle

These SWAT team members will be trained individually, specifically for purpose and will be trained in specialized handling such as Empty beer bottles, Hand cuffs, whips, Playboy bunny costume sets, etc.

"WaterFall" Post

 Flyers Trapped, Robbers on loot.

In an unprecedented occurrence, passengers flying or booked on Kingfisher flights were stuck in aircraft and airports across the country on Sunday evening when the airline's engineers, unpaid for months, went on a flash strike after learning that their houses were burgled when they were sincerely performing their duties.

Meanwhile,Thieves returned bare-handed from seven houses when they did not find any valuables except stale food packets meant for airline passengers.

It is assumed that the thieves entered the houses for gold and other expensive items but could not find any. Police sources said that all the thieves belonged to a single group as they entered all the seven houses on the same day.

It may be recalled that few days back the Kingfisher has paid the salary for March to a handful of employees, with no salaries sanctioned after that month, now burglary attempt in houses has brought fear among the employees of the company.

The anger in the Kingfisher employees is peaking as they fear that company authorities are not heeding their constant refrain that it is unsafe for an airline to keep making its people work without pay for daily sustenance.

"It is very surprising the way company management are turning a blind eye to the situation. Will they act only after some robbery takes place?" said an angry pilot, requesting anonymity.

The aviation ministry's stance has been that it cannot shut down an airline simply because it has not paid its employees for months and claims that the DGCA will ensure Honey bees and flight safety on whatever number of aircraft Kingfisher chooses to fly.

It says by that logic, it would first have to shut down Air India,Force india and Royal Challengers, BCCI, BSNL,...many more, "If employees are unpaid for months, they have the option of refusing to work or quitting and take legal recourse against the airline management. But if you are coming to work then you cannot suddenly go on strike and keep passengers locked inside aircraft. Mamata Di sunegi to dacoity ka drama karegi" said a senior official.

Meanwhile, Only person who deserves and gets handsome salary is CEO of crisis-ridden Kingfisher Airlines, Sanjay Agarwal whose pay package was the second highest after Vijay Mallya because he managed to successfully ground the airlines with nobody knowing whether it will take off again or not.

While Agarwal has said that he has also not been paid any salary since April as there were no funds,.. so zero loss cost to company.

As per the annual reports of seven listed companies of the UB group, its chairman and main promoter Vijay Mallya was paid a total amount of about Rs 1.43 crore (mostly in sitting fees), For sitting and doing nothing while consumers/Flyers were left in the lurch with cancellations and employees were left high and dry without salaries.

Following the footsteps of the company employees, While Mallya was not paid anything at Kingfisher and another group firm UB Engineering(share holders take note of this company, which is next in line) this as per the annual reports.

But surprise surprise, Kingfisher annual report does not mention any remuneration paid to its chairman Vijay Mallya, who gave guarantees worth Rs 5,904 crore for the carrier's loans and other liabilities in 2011-12, but did not get any income for the same.For these loans, the airline has used as all its security and assets, trademarks, 'goodwill'(whatever is left) of the company, credit cards and other receivables and a mortgage on Kingfisher House.

SBI execs to meet Kingfisher's on Mallya's future, after learning that Struggling Finnish mobile phone manufacturer Nokia might sell its headquarters on the outskirts of Helsinki, a senior company official as quoted as saying at a corner shop.

After meeting with officials

After Kingfisher Airlines net loss more than doubled  in 2011-12  from the previous year.

"We are exploring different options for our property assets. This includes a possible sale of Mr.Mallya," "However we have no plans to sell Jr.Mallya," he added.

"Kingfisher's is keen to keep control of Mallya...they are willing to do everything possible, including big sacrifices, which includes throwing out baby mallya" SBI chief said

Earlier this month, the SBI chief was sounding pessimistic about the fate of Jr.Mallya's exposure, he hinted at rating him as NPA (Nonsense Performer with Atitude).

The sale of property by a company which then rents the same assets from the buyer is a well-established strategy used by companies needing to raise cash.

On international James Bond Day (October 5), Already Not so-Young, suave and Charming superstar Mallya Mam has expressed his desire to play a similar kind of role.

The 56-year-old has done action roles in  real life like "Kingfisher calendar" and "Poonawala derby" but feels he is not good with guns. The actor expressed his love for the "Bond" series.

"I am a big James Bond fan. Always wanted to play a character like him...I am very smooth with cars and women ... bah.. u name it i have all of  them in my garage," he wrote and also mentioned his favorite dialogue from "Thunderball" a 1965 Bond movie.

"My favourite Bond lines 'JamesBond: That gun, it looks more for a woman.
You know much about guns, Mr. Bond?
JamesBond: No, but I know a little about women ," he said hinting to his Company business.

The first "James Bond" movie was "Dr.No" released in 1962 with actor Sean Connery essaying the role of 007 secret agent. Ever since, 22 James Bond movies have been churned out. The last movie was "Quantum of Solace" released in 2008.

Poster of Upcoming Movie

He released a poster and expressed his interest to appear next movie in the successful series titled "Waterfall", which is expected to release after getting leftover funds following Kingfisher airlines Liquidation, if any.