Thursday, December 20, 2007

its Different

Easiest way to die:
1. buy 1 lot of Nifty Futures-you will die 10 years early.(50 shares per Lot)
2. buy 1 lot of IFCI Futures - you will die 50 years early.(7875 shares per Lot)
3. buy 10,000 of Teledata in cash segment - you will die daily till and after listing!

Teledata shareholder & IFCI shareholder were walking on road in chennai then suddenly Teledata shareholder fell down in a deep hole near Headoffice.
IFCI shareholder: Are you ok?
Teledata shareholder: Fine thanks!
IFCI shareholder: Did you break anything?
Teledata shareholder: No, there's nothing down here!

The 3 stages of Shareholder:
when he buys Teledata-He believes in Santa Claus.
Teledata demerges 3 entities-He doesn`t believe in Santa Claus.
When Teledata is listed-He is Santa Claus.

At age of 12, success is . . . buying Reliance Inds at Rs.100.
At 20, success is . . . selling Reliance Inds at Rs.1000.
At 30, success is . . . buying Teledata at Rs.20.
At 60, success is . . . selling Teledata at Rs.100
At 70, success is . . . getting sold shares amount(of course its profit yaar!!) credited to your account.
At 80, success is . . . getting unpaid Dividends credited after 50 long years.

If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker and bought Reliance Inds at Rs.100.
If he is bald at the back, he is a ????? and shorted Educomp in futures at Rs.1000.
If he is bald from front to back - he is **** bought ????.

Question: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that`s a shame")?
Answer: When a shareholder goes to Annual General Meeting.
Question: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
Answer: He is only one in the conference hall.
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224-Feb-2017FridayMahashivratri
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514-Apr-2017FridayDr.Baba Saheb Ambedkar Jayanti/ Good Friday
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1325-Dec-2017MondayChristmas

*Muhurat Trading will be conducted. Timings of Muhurat Trading shall be notified subsequently.

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Sr. No.DateDayDescription
109-Apr-2017SundayMahavir Jayanti
202-Sep-2017SaturdayBakri ID
330-Sep-2017SaturdayDasera
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