Friday, February 18, 2011

3rd feb Week of Chaos and Madness

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

BMC’s demolition men attacked by mob again | Soon, social work could get you your dream job

CST in a flurry after bomb hoax |Teachers count, parents step in

College celebrations |Univ to host talk by Dalai Lama |Violent clashes in Mumbra, 13 held

5 m B’lore roses will spread love across globe |Bloody Mary on Ahd streets at Rs.250

PM addresses piracy issue |Anand Raj Anand replaces Pritam

Pak to seek Musharraf’s extradition in Bhutto case|Spidey caught in labour dept web

Sikhs forced to remove turbans at Milan airport|US girl eats five soaps a week

Mere dowry charge can’t nail man for wife’s suicide: HC |State may shut down 5 police stations in city

Man held for killing wife |Conviction can’t be based on an angry tirade, says court

Driver arrested with opium worth Rs.2.9 lakh |Mumbai gets on track, burns fat at cyclothon

Without keys, thieves fail to loot bank vault |Mid-day meals may get tastier

Govt ups BlackBerry heat on telcos |Wife elopes, man kills 3 kids in rage

Girl kills self as principal dubs her thief |Criminals set cop’s wife afire

Engg student kills self|CBI man among five held

Ramdev’s car kill two|INDIA’S BIG CHANCE NOW

Fed up with Berlo, women rally for ‘dignity’ |Hurt Shoaib Akhtar wants to win it for the people

‘Shoot the farmer’: Bono causes stir in SA |WE’RE USED TO THE CHAOS

Filmistan Studio may be sold for 500 crore |Mumbaikars say they are ‘alienated’

Catering firm staffer held for theft at Juhi’s residence |Decision on milk price hike likely today

Tapping colleges for blood donations pays off |Over 1 lakh phones tapped a year?

Cheque or hard cash? Stage show payment in grey zone |PMO knew of Isro deal: Devas chief

Asha Bhosale to get honorary DLitt |Man arrested for killing wife in Kandivli

What crashed Priyanka’s Bryan plan? | Playboy party leaves 170 ill|

Raja held for misbehaving with actor|thane mental hospital to allow patients kin to stay on premises

After 125 yrs, secret Coke formula is out |Bummer of ’11 for ‘Summer of 69’ singer, fans

Sheila meets PC: Transfer of 4 babus put off |Cop run over by fleeing industrialist

No guests from IPL, Bollywood |Don’t want to talk about Sachin: Azhar

I’m not as big a culprit as being made out to be: PM |Anil Ambani examined by CBI

BComs, BScs pip MBAs to jobs |PC as FM wrote to PM for auction, revenue cut

Our airport ranks among the best, but there’s miles to go |Ambedkar page blocked, rioters held

New fee draft upsets PTAs, schools|Where’s proof, customs asks ‘owner’ of diamonds stolen at Goregaon show

Chennai man gets kidney in city|New aviation minister holds meet to hear out grievances

Assam mins’ better halves better off too | Varun hands out wedding invite to Sonia

‘Thief’ kills self at MP police stn |Anil has answered all our queries: CBI

Govt hasn’t given up on reforms: PM |Saddam’s WMDs: Man who started it all says he lied

India high on MSD |Shruti talking of flying high |Abhay is furious, not doing Dostana 2

What’s marriage got to do with TRPs? |Emraan ditched Imran signed? |Shilpa under threat!

Get chatty! |Did Paswan call Kangna? |A chance for local heroes

HC fines wife 10k for lying in divorce case |Rahat Ali Khan quizzed by DRI for 12 hours

Marriage papers solve the riddle of two ‘wives’ |After arrest, Mhada official suspended

Vague answers & sms lingo stump examiners |Students go missing during testing time

5 youths tricked by firm, left stranded in China |Man jumps off Malad building| Rahat grilled for 12 hrs, more likely

Bangladesh is like being at home: Afridi |Akhtar, Riaz fined for night-out

Innovations come with risks too |India should stick to simple plans

Look what the boys will wear |Fresh n Exciting

who is trying to be picasso?| ‘I’M AN INCURABLE ROMANTIC’...says Hrithik Roshan ||Hrithik’s bed-time story

Ready for a fresh beginning... |Rock the dance floor |This one’s for the guys

Why tyson started fighting...| Halle berry wins rights to daughter

Music ka tadka! |Now Sunny on small screen

Jackky’s found a friend in Remo! |The Kat, Kareena deep bond

Amisha's making heads turn! |Full on paisa vasool

A night to remember |Boys will be boys...

‘People have a morbid fascination with me’| Petra Nemcova wants a ‘loads of fun’ wedding

Salman can't escape Ranbir|Chandigarh: Now, dogs walk the ramp

Important News from Great Britain:
DON'T give aid, India doesn't need it,United Kingdom MPs in unison.. they asked the House of Uncommons to,Instead give the money to needy Prince Charles to set up his kingdom,since he is already fed up with Queen mother,since she is unwilling to abdicate the throne,charles who has been waiting 30 years for throne,now put his hands in the air,now he wants to adopt a indian village and rule from britain.

meanwhile update from india, Prince Charles is building an eco-friendly model village with around 15000 people in India.Prince Charles recently met potters,buffaloes,camels,snakes and other animals of animal kingdom  for their opinion on administration and governance deficit in Indian villages, ...

Charles is tired of lack of respect by the British public shown to him and his wife, so now wants to lead a tension-free peaceful life and attain Niravana..urged farmers to adopt popular trance music like Buddha bar, moksha as a "significant alternative route." ..

after hearing the proposal of Financial support for his to be kingdom in the house of Uncommons, charles dashed off to his future-kingdom and his kingdom erupted in celebratory mood..jaggu caught charles in celebratory and jolly mood with his spy camera

New Government Ordinance,
those who want to have Business Licence in india ,must compulsorily get chargesheet in their name and must be willing to spend atleast a fortnight in CBI custody and Tihar jail.

The potential prisoners in Tihar jail, who must have received vocational and professional(CA's , MBA's) training before serving their terms,their name shud be similar to these,Raja,Raju,Kalmuhe's, kha note's..and the like.

In a first, ten top CEO's of private firms and banks will give the daily lectures and sermons at the jail to suitable persons from the shortlisted 50 inmates who will figure in the placement for Govt jobs, they will be taught to swindle thousands of crores, and avoid being caught and get away with it.

after this jaggu's expose,Government takes steps to ease overcrowding in Tihar Jail,and decided to shift the first class inmates to now abandoned adarsh buliding, here they will get all the jail facilities like wifi internet,24x7 DTH Tv, all other perquisites meant for MP's, MLC's, MLAaaa's and goats plus bonus arabian sea view free of cost.

Under construction picture of building meant for first class inmates.

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