Sunday, October 19, 2008

New Terms for the 2008 market

CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER - What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $ 240 per share.

WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.

Courtesy:Great Web
Post a Comment

Popular Posts for last 7 days

All Time Popular Posts

Eq mkt Holidays for the 2017 year

Sr. No.

DateDayDescription
126-Jan-2017ThursdayRepublic Day
224-Feb-2017FridayMahashivratri
313-Mar-2017MondayHoli
404-Apr-2017TuesdayRam Navami
514-Apr-2017FridayDr.Baba Saheb Ambedkar Jayanti/ Good Friday
601-May-2017MondayMaharashtra Day
726-Jun-2017MondayId-Ul-Fitr (Ramzan ID)
815-Aug-2017TuesdayIndependence Day
925-Aug-2017FridayGanesh Chaturthi
1002-Oct-2017MondayMahatama Gandhi Jayanti
1119-Oct-2017ThursdayDiwali-Laxmi Pujan*
1220-Oct-2017FridayDiwali-Balipratipada
1325-Dec-2017MondayChristmas

*Muhurat Trading will be conducted. Timings of Muhurat Trading shall be notified subsequently.

The holidays falling on Saturday / Sunday are as follows:

Sr. No.DateDayDescription
109-Apr-2017SundayMahavir Jayanti
202-Sep-2017SaturdayBakri ID
330-Sep-2017SaturdayDasera
401-Oct-2017SundayMoharram
504-Nov-2017SaturdayGurunanak Jayanti