Stock market jokes

New SEBI rule
According to unconfirmed sources,SEBI chief Shri.Damu anna,is coming out with fresh Draft regulation for traders and Investors...

Traders and Investors along with Pancard,cardiogram,CAT scan,Blood pressure graph with Medical & Financial Fitness certificate is a MUST,if u want to Trade or Invest in NSE/BSE stks.
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Help me, ladies!
Two women were walking through the Forest,when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"

One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, shocked, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!"

The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!
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Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
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The most successful investor was Noah. He floated stock, while everything around him went into liquidation.
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A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
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QUESTION: When does a person decide to become a stockbroker?
ANSWER: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an Investor.
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Stock Market Timing-The best time to buy anything is last year.
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The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart.
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Copying an idea from an author is plagiarism.
Copying many ideas from many authors is research.
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There are primarily 3 different types of investors who post on the message boards.
1. Those who don't know anything: approx. 10%
2. Those who know a little: approx. 10%
3. Those who don't realize they don't know anything: approx. 80%
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