Love is in the air

There are so many ways for men and women to make Valentine's Day a memorable one.

With their 'ghar wapsi' programme turning out to be a damp squib just like Tata Nano, the Akhil Bharat Hindu Mahasabha (ABHM) found something wonderful this Valentine's Day. so there is good news and bad news.

Couple of days before the festival of love, the ABHM announced that couples found celebrating Valentine's Day in public will undergo a prompt Arya Samaj wedding.

Hindu Mahasabha activists with all latest chinese spy gadgets which can give James Bond a run for his money will be busy scouring cafes, restaurants and malls to spot couples walking hand-in-hand, couples sitting in corners and anyone carrying a rose.

 This comprehensive list may or may not include public parks, Tree tops and parked cars, couples caught with roses in hands and those who sit in corners, If you are found hugging, even Bhagwan Sri Krishna (god) with all his might can't help you.

 

But the best news is for the thousands of girls and boys who fall in love but cannot marry because their families wouldn't approve of the relationship. They sacrifice their love at the family's altar.

This is a golden opportunity for them. Just walk hand in hand, ensure the rose is visible, then walk into a restaurant, take the corner table. Or All they have to do now is to show up at the nearest Hindu Mahasabha office on V-Day, hands tightly clasped and say love in their hearts.

You will get through the short and sweet Arya Samaj wedding ceremony, and you are man and wife. To interfaith people, do not despair. This shuddhikaran is just a little ceremony. And boy, if you happen to be a Non Hindu, believe you are Shahrukh Khan, and this is a film where you play Rahul. Go through the motions. And emerge a winner. And if the boy is a Hindu and the girl happens to be a Non Hindu, remember all religions treat women so badly that women in fact have no religion at all. And it doesn't matter how you get married. All that matters is love.

So this Valentines Day go ahead, get married and blame it on them.. They you can then head home confidently tell the parents what happened and all's well.

Granted that there is nothing more decent than getting two people married whose parents just won't say yes.

Nobody messes with Hindutva outfits: if they want to marry you off, you stay married. Your Parents will just have to grin and be part of the well not so- happy family portrait.

  

To make offer more attractive to couples, Hindu Mahasabha will also threw in the offer of a free honeymoon package to place in India, so soon most lovers in India will accept there is Santa Claus (what about “Ghar wapsi anyway”, when couples are at home); albeit one dyed in saffron.

Hindu Mahasabha have done some brainstorming to come up with this million-dollar idea-- it is shaadi. So, weddings seasons is this year. And if this plan does not work, they will come up with something even more bizarre like compulsory divorce next year.

  

So in order to improve India’s employment rate. Akhil Bharat Hindu Mahasabha (ABHM) has now begun hiring; Photographers, priests and lawyers, to be available with each team of the ABHM to make the ceremony quick and hassle-free.

They tell you quite clearly that if you have a girlfriend, you win, and if you have a wife, well, you have a wife and now deal with her. As they say Marriage begins where love ends.

Hindu Mahasabha's Valentine's Day moral story: Use marriage to end love.