Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Haryana labourer is ‘first-time dad’ at 94 |Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner gets engaged to a Playmate again|Shares of Viagra-Maker Pfizer hits upper circuit,gains 100% in a day.

Accused Tried To Escape Wearing Burqa, But Footwear Gave Him Away |Terrified wives grin and bear the ‘ordeal’

Cong, NCP ‘fish’ for sons of the soil |All drama, few playgrounds

Kids can wait, says Kylie Minogue|KJo’s on top of the world!

Sanju’s going to gamble |...meanwhile Baba not invited by nephew!

Bandra watering hole reopens in festive week |‘Pubs, hotels also make neighbourhoods secure’

BMC cracks down on illegal hawkers, collects 6 Lakh fine |Weight of fruits led to tree fall

Man waits 13 years to shoot at ex-boss |Thief’s plan runs out of gas in Chembur

The Business of Bollywood |Jovial Arun spotted partying in Mumbai!

Abhi takes care of Ash’s mother | Why so shy, Prateik?

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Vegetable prices hit tearful heights | Police tighten security around Taj, Gateway

Missing strays have activists worried | Radia may soon be questioned again by CBI

Who’s crying, who’s laughing to the bank?| CBI questions Radia at her farmhouse

Great Indian Bustards in peril, count just 300 | No ideal bachelor for Rani!

No onion distribution through ration shops | Principals to fine cigarette sellers

Party, but don’t drink & drive: Cops to revellers | Can an old problem be solved now?

Burglars used bamboo pole to fish out wallets | CCTV captures two boys pinching bag at wedding

Advocate’s car stolen from Bandra court | Club members move HC again

Onion on mind, diesel price hike put off | Cong women come to blows at Sonia’s house

Farah Khan’s surprise element! | Zarine’s khan getting sexier

Prithviraj Chavan leaves no room for wastefulness |‘Parental support vital during counselling

Surgical error adds to stray dog’s woes | Bappi notice to film producer for poking fun at him

It’s over! | Hrithik shuns heroines at Goa anniv bash... |...But shares roof with Salman !!!

What is Mallika’s new mission?| Do you want a partner?

New Fail-Safe Trade Indicator by jaggu

about
Fail Safe indicators are made from stolid Moving Averages,which are more reliable than other lagging and leading indicators,since they follow market trend.

this 3 step simple & easy to use indicator is proven with tried and tested in various bull and bear markets with excellent results comparable to almost positional trade fail safe by jaggu.

Features:
Name fail safe comes from fact that,this indicator has to be updated daily and manually,free from any technical problem..so there is less chance of failing/or giving wrong trend.

this indicator is used as Reliable End of Day (EOD) indicator, since it depends basically on Open-High-Low-Close values.

this indicator is used for positional trade in trending market,in addition with intraday trades (with separate real time file for intraday trading also available)

How to use this Excel Sheet indicator:

 

In this,there are 3 separate indicators:

SL = this one gives the stoploss for your long or short position,

Day/Intraday trend= this indicator tells which is the best position for intraday trading

Positional trend= this indicator tells u whether the market is in down trend or uptrend.

Example Of Nifty (NSE 50) from 2008 onwards till dec 16-2010

Veena Malik 'threat' to Islam, say Pakistani religious leaders

Pakistani actress Veena Malik may be upping the TRPs by being part of the 'Bigg Boss' household in India, but in her country she is being seen as a 'threat' to Islam.

Veena was accused of disrespecting Islam by behaving irresponsibly in India on public television.

Most Pakistanis have reacted strongly to the Mufti's reaction, contending that Veena is not an official representative of Pakistan and that she was in India to boost her lagging career and guess wat u can think of. "She certainly did not enter the show as a Muslim contender. She was chosen for the show as a Pakistani celebrity (if you may) who became popular recently for playing an active role in making the cricket scandal further scandalous," posted.

a "Undisclosed" reader(pic above), had an interesting take on the cleric's objections: "I'm surprised at the fact that this Maulvi could have time to watch TV and analyze her performance on 'Bigg Boss'...

when jaggu asked Bigg Boss for his reaction to this development,he replied "well Bigg Boss chahte hain ki aap sabhi bashinde Bigg boss dekhein aur veena ko SMS dwara vote dein."

Meanwhile,Bigg Boss has caught Veena Malik reading Non-Bigg Boss related Book in toilet.

when asked about maulvi reaction,veena has threatened to join Osho's ashram and participate in the "Osho's spiritual class".

jaggu's on veena malik trail has obtained certain Objectionable pics with his spy camera:

Delhi sitting on 100 bombs,many live!

Delhi sitting on 100 bombs,many live,so Delhi citizens want to dispose them in Parliament House, due to lack of empty spaces.

According to reports,Delhi is literally sitting on a bomb. Actually, around 100 of them. They are sand-bagged at the inland container depot (ICD) in Tughlakabad for six years now. What's worse, no one except the Army knows how many bombs are live. And it's not sharing the information, claim officials.

some citizens are very happy abt reports have suggested the army command try to dispose them off in Parliament House itself in front of & with the concerned authorities (Meaning elected members). since the area is useless to the common man and it is also causing heavy loss on the taxpayer.

some citizens (esp.housewives) who are not so happy abt rising prices and inflation said take these bombs to loksabha asked them to them sit over the bombs and accumulate their salaries and perks and taxpayers money and they requested the army to give the fuse button installed in subji mandi area.

When contacted, DCP (southeast) O P Mishra said that it was "an old problem"(of course,wat can one say for 75-80 years parliamentarians). "All efforts are on to find an area where the Army can dispose of these shells," he told.

Pakistan want China to host cricket matches on its behalf!

PCB (Pakistan Cricket Board) is on the verge of bankruptcy, so Pakistan want China to host cricket matches on its behalf,so tat atleast it can earn fake American Dollars as tuition fees & Loyalty bonus.

In his letter, Miandad praised China saying cricket has a bright future in the country. He suggested that Pakistan should help China to establish cricket infrastructure and new stadium, besides mentoring Chinese players in Spot Fixing, Dressing Room Fights, Pub (Beer Bar & Dance Bar) Brawls and Ball tampering methods.

He also suggested sending a group of former Players (like Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamir, Mohammad Asif Shoaib Malik, Kamran Akmal and Danish Kaneria for on-field and dressing room games, with of course Veena malik for off-field & After games!) as a coaching team to China to train the Chinese youth.


since most of these Pak players are suspended for "Non-Cricket Crimes (NCC)" by ICC, Pak wants China to provide players for their cricket team.so chinese authorities have selected these name:

Names in any order u like,
Phak Yu (Captain),
Yu Mi Ding
Su Yu
Su Mi
Pi On Yu (Vice-Captain)
Hai Yu Ding
Yu Stin Ki Pu
No Pah King (Wicket-Keeper)
Wai Yu So Tan!

so if China wants to make it to the Elite Premier League (EPL!), it has to play against world cup champs USA, former world champs like Canada, Scotland, Ireland, Afghanistan, Mongolia, Bermuda, etc.

Surprisingly, many Chinese Noodles companies have pledged to sponsor the series.

India in return will entertain their Chinese request,by sending Only J&K and Arunachal Pradesh players.

Believe it or not!

In the last five years, eight IITians have committed suicide — five of them hanged themselves in their hostel rooms.

The four-member team at IIT-Kanpur, probing the suicide of Civil Engineering student Madhuri Sale, has come with a plan to help prevent suicides in hostels:

A source told jaggu: “We have a strong reason to recommend this plan in the institute hostels,so we can at least remove all options with permutations and combinations for students who are depressed due to some reasons or the other.”

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Republic of  Khao on Monday offered Laluji, the RJD founder who has enraged Biharis by accumulating masses of cow fodder, residency with no questions asked.

"We are ready to give him residence in Republic of Khao, with no problems and no conditions," Deputy Foreign Minister Sabko Khiloa  told jaggu."We are going to invite him to come to Khao so he can freely accumulate fodder not just of cow but in a variety of domestic animals." he said.

Sabko Khiloa said even though Republic of Khao's policy was not to meddle in the internal affairs of other countries, it was "concerned" by the fodder accumulation because it involved "Domesticated animals and PETA (Pamelaji)."

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Italian film director and master of comedy Mario Monicelli, 95, committed suicide Monday by throwing himself out of a hospital window, jaggu asks what was the hurry?