Nifty Technicals with FSI Trading System

2012-01-27T08:29:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 27-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.51
Support:.5100, Resistance/Tgt:.5200

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.47 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.64 pts (+1 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-25T08:29:00.005+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 25-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.68
Support:.5000, Resistance/Tgt:.5200

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.95 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.63 pts (-2 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-24T08:15:00.003+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 24-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.6
Support:.5000, Resistance/Tgt:.5100

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.38 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.65 pts (-3 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-23T08:31:00.003+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 23-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.11
Support:.5000, Resistance/Tgt:.5100

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.60 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.68 pts (+5 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

Numb'er sum

2012-01-21T13:07:00.000+05:30

Infosys Technologies said that pay increases would be as high as in single digits this year. Last year Infosys gave a 10-12 % increase in salary.

Meanwhile, a section of recently joined employees are googling what single digit number means, some says its a whole number, but wiki says
Whole numbers may refer to:
natural numbers (1, 2, 3, ...) - the positive integers
natural numbers (0, 1, 2, 3, ...) - the non-negative integers... 0 included
all integers (..., -3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, 3, ...)...0 & minus included.

others employees who have done their Masters and Ph.d thesis, have opinion that single digit number can be from:Rational & Irrational numbers, Algebraic numbers, Computable numbers, Arithmetical numbers, Cardinal numbers, Ordinal numbers, Real numbers, Hyperreal numbers, Surreal numbers,Complex numbers, Hypercomplex numbers, Superreal numbers and Supernatural numbers!!!

so in order to make its employees understand,company has bought special teaching bus by paying undisclosed amount, whereby their teaching fee will be deducted from already miniscule basic employees(cost-to-company) salary.

after hearing this, unprecedented wave swept across all its southern India campus, has claimed seventy resignations in Andhra Pradesh and has broken century-old attrition records at several places in neighbouring Karnataka.

2012-01-20T08:43:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 20-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.69
Support:.5000, Resistance/Tgt:.5050

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.68 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.63 pts (+2 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-19T08:39:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 19-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.01
Support:.4900, Resistance/Tgt:.5000

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.50 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.61 pts (-1 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-18T08:08:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 17-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.59
Support:.4900, Resistance/Tgt:.5000

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.102 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.62 pts (-4 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-17T08:27:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 17-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.75
Support:.4800, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.54 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.66 pts (-1 pts)

As per FSI, bulls are tired, there is correction in markets ahead.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-16T09:08:00.002+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 16-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.34
Support:.4800, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.68 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.67 pts (-1 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

"Sunny Days"

2012-01-13T10:26:00.001+05:30

Jet Airways on Tuesday said its's aircraft will be 'wrap branded' with the nokia's Lumia ads to earn additional bucks for paying salaries of their pilots and staff.The aircraft wrap is like a flying billboard that allows you to take your brand to the skies quite literally. We are happy to partner with Nokia Lumia" Jet Airways marketing executive said.

so Vijay Mallya's Kingfisher Airlines which always adopts an innovative marketing strategy to snatch attention from Jet Airways' advertisement.

After hearing the jet airways strategy, our KF uncle Mr.Mallya, asked his hostesses to "wrap themselves" with "no extra money" for that, but all of them refused, citing they are not experienced in "wrapping themselves" , so he has roped in new sensation "Miss.Sunny Leone" for "Amazing Everyday" campaign, she happily obliged for reasons known very well.

Debt-ridden Kingfisher Airlines which owe the nation and its people a total of Infinite crores of Rupees in various promised services, in a survey was asked to mend its ways, in the survey, India's Men folk complained that the cash-strapped Kingfisher Airlines was "non-performing upto satifactions", while women of India with their familiar instincts said the carrier was ‘sub-standard’.

Later in the day, general secretary Pigvijaya Sangh, repeated his charge that the sunny leone's was fake and added he could not "probe" her, as the prime minister and home minister believed the sunny leone's was true.

When contacted for comments, Pigvijay Sangh refused to deny or confirm his desire, but he made it clear that he didn’t like anything that was fake. He refused to explain what he meant by “fake”.

jaggu found out by his Spying skill, its the visa in question here. Meanwhile,opposition has taken serious view of his comment and demanded the Immediate resignation of SMS and PC.

In Unrelated news,the foreign ministry has asked its Missions told to rigorously "scan" women visitors who are 15-40 years of age."Indian missionaries have been told to be in touch with them."

In fact, sources said, the GOI is very discreetly interested in "visitors" from a region that is friendly with New Delhi. "GOI scanning to make sure that the woman entering India is really useful. So that other useless(and fake) women do not enter the country. This is for benefit of Indians only..i have proof" said Pigvijaya sangh with showing "fare and lavely" advertisement in the newspaper.

With assembly elections in the states less than a month away, this announcement has expectedly raised youth's temperatures.

“The Election Commission of India should ask everyone cover themselves in burqa(to distinguish themselves as natives from visitors) in the country so that people are not able to see and get fooled,” said a 95-year old PIL Petitioner Raam Bharose.

meanwhile in next seasons kaun Banega Sunnpati.
Question: What does an Indian Visa Officer tells a visitor from Central Asian Country ???
Answer: Ek Chumma tu mujh ko udhaar de de, aur badle me multiple entry visa le le

After burning his lips badly, Amar Upadhyay is angry, extremely angry! And it is none other than Sunny Leone, who has rubbed him the wrong way by alleging that the actor had tried to get too 'touch-feely' with her during the tasks in the Bigg Boss' house.

jaggu with spy camera found out,it was true to a dime.

Amar thunders"Kya woh yahan apne paap dhone aayi hai? Sunny Leone is trying to fool Indian public!"
The actor cautions all the Men folk to tread with caution. "Mens should think 100 times before considering Sunny in their dreams. Tomorrow, she may accuse them of sexual harassment in their dreams, she only wants money" he thunders.

jaggu met sunny leone who was in jolly mood at her palatial Rastrapatni bhavan,"Its fine even valmiki was a dacoit before he turned saint and wrote Ramayana!!!!" said sunny leone

Meanwhile,OpPosition's Favourite sPokesPerson Pigvijay sangh said "Amar Upadhyay is plan D of BJP...i have proof."Amar Blasts Pigvijay saying "a pig is always fond of mud and garbage.." pointing to his name Pigvijay sangh.

Several Men organizations have stepped up their protest against controversial author Salman Rushdie's visit to the country, reason for their protest he is favourite among young women.

Now the anti-Rushdie chant has picked up, XWAG(eX-Wives And Girlfriends) United Council! have asked the government not to permit Rushdie into the country, because of his charming instinct and their female instinct, clearly the government is concerned about "Sizeable Votebank".

jaggu understands his readers sunnytiment very well, so he is always after news related to them ! If there is no such news then he creates it own to read it.

2012-01-13T09:10:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 13-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.67
Support:.4800, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.66 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.68 pts (0 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-12T08:45:00.002+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 12-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.46
Support:.4800, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.36 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.68 pts (-3 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-11T08:35:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 10-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.38
Support:.4800, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.113 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.71 pts (+4 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-10T08:48:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 10-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.98
Support:.4700, Resistance/Tgt:.4800

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.63 pts
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.67 pts (-1 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-09T08:47:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 9-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.35
Support:.4700, Resistance/Tgt:.4800

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.17 pts!!!!!!!! where are the traders...on extended leave?
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.68 pts (-6 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-06T08:48:00.002+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 6-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.11
Support:.4700, Resistance/Tgt:.4800

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.50
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.74 pts (-6 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-05T08:00:00.002+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 5-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.57
Support:.4700, Resistance/Tgt:.4800

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.54
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.80pts (-10 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-04T08:17:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 4-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.58
Support:.4700, Resistance/Tgt:.4800

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.136
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.90pts (+2 pts)

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-03T08:40:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 3-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.78
Support:.4600, Resistance/Tgt:.4700

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.58
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.88 pts (-3 pts)

Wish u a happy and prosperous New year 2012.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2012-01-02T08:42:00.002+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 2-Jan-2012

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.38
Support:.4600, Resistance/Tgt:.4700

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.82
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.91 pts (-11 pts)

Wish u a happy and prosperous New year 2012.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2011-12-30T08:28:00.003+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 30-Dec-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.95
Support:.4600, Resistance/Tgt:.4700

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.67
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.102 pts (-3 pts)

See you Next year 2012..!!

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2011-12-27T09:00:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 27-Dec-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.57
Support:.4700, Resistance/Tgt:.4830

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.74
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.109 pts (-8 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2011-12-18T07:19:00.003+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 19-Dec-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.4
Support:.4600, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.191
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.113 pts (+1 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

"Bobby trapped"

2011-12-08T09:20:00.001+05:30

Believe it or not but authorities in Pakistan's Punjab province have "arrested" a monkey after it crossed the border with India, according to a media report today.Local residents initially thought it was veena mallik in burqa, but from closeup view it didn't bear have any resemblance to her, so tried to capture the monkey thinking it was Humaima Malik without her mandatory makeup.

After the monkey evaded them, the people informed Sardari's men, who are expert in such monkey business,have captured the animal after a bloodless struggle. The monkey was taken to abottabad, where some officials named him khaaden,who think he resembled a maty-ro, they cant officially acknowledge.

According to "Highly placed" sources with highly sensitive mission said, Monkey has taken a LOVE LETTER for the Forever beautiful "Foreign Affairs" Minister Ms.Rabbri Kheer from this side...phir bhi kuch toh log kahenge

But India rejected Pak's charges as Figment of Imagination, as the monkey belonged to some rogue "SIMIan" organization.

On Sensational IndiaTv coverage: Breaking News Ek bandar Si-baalon se pareshaan pakistan bhagaa. Ise aap kudrat ka karishma kahenge ya koi ghari saajish.

meanwhile, mahaish butt commented that he would definitely make a film with that monkey,since s/he will return to India one day in future for a reality show.

Calender 2012

2011-12-05T08:49:00.001+05:30

To save the images,right click the image,open in new tab and then right click again on image and choose save image as *.jpeg

Courtesy:Magnus Productions

2011-11-30T08:30:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 30-Nov-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.1.77
Support:.4800, Resistance/Tgt:.4900

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.79
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.112 pts (-2 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor): Jaggu Celebrates Mark Twain's 176th birthday today...
"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand." - Mark Twain
"All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure." - Mark Twain

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today." - Mark Twain

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

2011-11-16T08:30:00.001+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 16-Nov-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.2
Support:.5000, Resistance/Tgt:.5200

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.106
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.81 pts (-9 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

A Curious case of Ra.one

2011-11-11T08:02:00.001+05:30

A Curious case of Ra.one

A 32-year-old man murdered his wife for repeatedly showing him Ra.one movie from pirated vcd she brought from neighbours early Tuesday morning. He is absconding at the moment and shahrukh with his production team are on a man hunt.

Live picture taken from Pasturi Tv studios

Neighbors suspect that the act was committed in a fit of rage after a late night quarrel over the movie.

"It seems that he did not liked the movie. They fought violently and neighbors (salman and aamir) had to intervene to restore peace""We have some leads from Movie Ra.one and the accused will be arrested soon," the Lalit pawar added.

Meanwhile from MUMBAI: Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan has been questioned by the Copyright Department in connection with alleged irregularities in the story of Ra.one. and also forthcoming Don2 after massive uproar over frustrating the target audience with Ra.one, who say Krissh was much better movie than Ra.one, without priyanka's acting talent in Krissh.

"ShahRukh appeared before us, we recorded his storyline in dvd for our future use" an CD (copyright Department)official Free-tam chakra bar-T told jaggu. CD official Free-tam chakra bar-T also said that Khan has been asked to submit files in CD relating to the storyline, dialogues and music" for his personal use.

2011-11-09T06:55:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 9-Nov-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.46
Support:.5200, Resistance/Tgt:.5350

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.52
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.87 pts (-3 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):.wish u happy guru nanak jayanthi and karthik poornima in advance.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

Dirty Mind on Dirty Picture

2011-10-26T08:10:00.000+05:30

Director of Dirty Picture said, he chose Vidya Balan over other heroines because he was confident as Vidya Balan is a great actress. Moreover in his opinion Vidya Balan's "super"structure body suited her for the role of Silk Smitha in Dirty Picture."

after hearing this and seeing promos of imran hasmi and tusshar kapoor on her Tv set, Vidya Balan was admitted to hospital after she complained of giddiness on the sets of Dirty Picture, now Vidya Balan will be accompanied by Anesthetic doctor while shooting for Any Picture for any untoward incidents and comments.

Wish u a happy Diwali

2011-10-23T18:39:00.002+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 24-Oct-2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.2.44
Support:.5000, Resistance/Tgt:.5150

Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.82
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.96 pts (- 9 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):.Buy buy......

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

Wish u a happy Diwali and prosperous new year from jaggu.

Ways to get lucky

2011-09-08T08:04:00.000+05:30

Here are some tips to turn your luck around:

1. Never confuse luck with planning: When a desired outcome(or super profits) is brought by luck, you must acknowledge that fact. If you confuse luck with planning, I guarantee 100% that your luck, in the long run, will be bad.

2. Find the fast flow, just like short covering rally in markets: Go where events flow fastest, surround yourself with a people and things will happen. It doesn’t matter if you are a boring person(small scale investor); all you need to do is meet a lot of people and let them know who you are. Then they will direct opportunities your way.

3. Take calculated risks: There are two ways to be an almost sure loser in life and financial markets.One is to take risks that are out of proportion to the rewards being sought (like leverage of 10,000 :1) where there is more risk than reward, so avoid such things and situation.
The other is to take no risks at all.
Lucky people are like smart money traders, they avoid both extremes so you should do same..

4. Know when to cut and run: Always assume that a run of luck is going to be short, never try to ride a run (gudluck or bull market rally) to its peak, like penny stock investors holding multibaggers in a roaring bull peak, then find their multibaggers become beggars. You will always be caught on wrong foot, as the law of averages is always heavily against your side.

5 . Go and Take the zig zag and shortcut path: Despite what many people think the path to success is rarely a straight line. Lucky men and women, on the whole, are not straight-line strugglers, but have brains of crook. They not only allow themselves to be distracted, they invite distraction, that’s why are successful.

6. Be a bit pessimistic: Lucky people, as a breed, tend to be pessimistic. Optimism means expecting the best, but good luck involves knowing how you will handle the worst. So next time when u go to the interview, always ask for resignation notice period first before anything else and exit door of the office.

7. Accept the universe is unfair: All of us, the good, the bad and the in-between, are all equally likely to realise our fondest dreams and nightmares . That’s y successful people are just small breed.

8. Be willing to be busy : The more activities you are going to do, the greater the likelihood that something good will happen.

9.Important One, Last but not least, Find a Goodluck partner: This person is someone who changes your luck over a long term. This person is not necessarily a romantic partner (spouse) and but usually just found just by blind luck but if it can help who cares, go on, find that person.

2011-08-08T07:44:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 8-August -2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.58

Support:.5100 , Resistance/Tgt:.5300
Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.215
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.99 pts (+11 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

Jaggu says Blast from the past:

2011-08-05T06:53:00.000+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 5-August -2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.92

Support:.5100 , Resistance/Tgt:.5400
Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.111
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.88 pts (+7 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):.

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

FSI's accurate performance for nifty

FSI's accurate performance for crude oil

2011-08-02T08:18:00.003+05:30

FAIL SAFE INDICATOR for Nifty Technicals for 2-August -2011

Nifty trin (Daily):.0.93

Support:.5400 , Resistance/Tgt:.5580
Previous Trading day's Trading Range:.69
Daily Average Trading Range (10 days):.82 pts (+3 pts)

Overall JEF (Jaggu Emotional Factor):.Look whos there on the charts...Bears run for the hills (search for Tri-Star pattern).....another hint...nifty closed @5516 on 1 aug 2011 :) !!!

Daily Nifty Technicals Snapshot:

India Celebrates after local Tv channel "PkTv" announces Larissa Riquelme ka swayam'war'

2011-07-20T08:56:00.004+05:30

India Celebrates after local Tv channel "PkTv" announces Larissa Riquelme ka swayam'war'

Creator's Masterpiece Larissa Riquelme lets the cat among the pigeons, larissa tells jaggu that there is big surprise in store for the her fans, She whispers "I am going to choose my bridegroom" , after hearing this news, with all dogs ear's accuracy, all eligible and ineligible country Men have started lining up the Tv Channel's head office for participation.

jaggu asked larissa, behind the motive of choosing india as a destination, she replies "I am lucky to have india, as there is officially 10 millions bachelors (forget abt un-official estimates) in waiting with just 4 million girls ratio, so there is a lot risk reward ratio in my favour, i am interested in beating the record of even Madonna who dated and married only just 7 men ."

she further added "I have seen many people from all over the world who don't have a thing to show off. Here I felt that all the grooms were honest, genuine and caring. So I feel lucky to be part of the Swayamavar."

meet the some of the participants brooms..err..grooms
Khujesh Paanwala
Age: 70
Profession: businessman from sabji mandi, delhi
Why he wants to marry: I appreciate Larissa's honesty and her communication skills. I admire her love the way she dances in stadiums. I think larissa cannot find a better groom than me.

Juna Bhanghaarwaala
Age: 57
Profession: Antique seller
Hails from: Mumbai

according to juna bhai, Larissa's seems to very bold and strong, but no one understands the (ancient)child-like innocence within her like I do.

Maar Chaakubhai
Age: 30
Profession: Works in crime industry.
Hails from: Rampur

I fell in love with Larissa when I saw her poster at local dance bar. Larissa is a woman, who has a "clean heart" and is a very good dancer. For me, distance between the couple does not matter. Larissa is one of the most genuine persons and that's what attracts me to her. I do not care about her name or fame.

Undisclosed source reveals, “Such a show was originally planned with Bobby Darling but channel Tv backed out at the last minute fearing the backlash from Man-kind at large."

meanwhile Showbiz's first family has welcomed the reality show by showing their emotion.

In the end, Larissa tells "Big Hugs" to Fans for forthcoming show in her style.

Kaunmarhi's Tihar troubles: Heat, toilet, mosquitoes,...!

2011-05-22T20:02:00.001+05:30

From Stone Palace to Stone dungeon in a blink of eye, far from the ease she is used to, Kaunmarhi spent a sleepless first night at Tihar Jail and when she pestered the warden for silk bed, she woke warden up around 5.30 am on Saturday, who said "Go away Sis, Don't disturb me. I am sleeping late after watching Ravi kishen's bhojpuri movie on cd".

The Tihar experience of King's daughter — lodged in Jail number 6 as an accused in the multi-core scam — was hardly anything to write home about.

Kaunmarhi was smiling after reaching Tihar,thanking god for giving her most secured place in india from her cruel irritated brothers.

She was in her jail cell (forget mobile phone, it still there costs Rs.100 extra as "service charge" per minute to speak,illegally!!) around 11.30 pm on Friday and could not sleep till about 2.30 am as the heat from jail canteen food hadnt cooled, despite a fan in her 10x15 feet cell, was smothering.

she was allowed home-cooked food from Taj mahal palace kitchen, Kaunmarhi had two slices of french bread with aalo sabzi and "Cold" coffee from the jail canteen for breakfast, and then got hot afternoon lunch from streets of sun scrotching marina beach.

On Saturday Morning, she did not speak to anyone as she burnt her tongue over hot food previous night after kaalu anna brought her (seething) hot dinner from his house.

Her lawyer told special judge that she faced difficulty in speaking hindi with person in charge of pay-n-use toilet,also she's late in getting ready in the morning due to lack of a proper non-air conditioned toilet facilities. Kaunmarhi remained mostly silent during the proceedings sitting tightly as she could.

In the evening, Kaunmarhi read some Tamil drama books and went to her room but did not interact with two other high-profile prisoners in her jail – Madhuri who danced for Pakistan and her pimp Monu Afghani,who were still pestering her for advice from her personal (Get Rich Quick)business idea and capital !!

This week, she will be spending all day in jail as there are no "dates" given by the court, and she has only option of watching ramdev's TV channel or reading books on Gandhi(devil and deep sea!!).

NATO attacks Pakistan, After Veena Malik injured in car accident

2011-05-19T09:17:00.003+05:30

Pakistani actor Veena Malik was injured in a car accident in Pakistan. Veena was travelling from Islamabad to Lahore. (Flashback: Veena Malik was branded "baigharat" (immoral) by Pakistani clerics on national television in Pakistan for her behaviour on 'Bigg Boss'.)

Pakistani officials say after news broke of Veena malik's accident, NATO helicopter attacked a Pakistani army post on the border with Afghanistan, injuring two Pakistani soldiers.

Before Pakistani troops respond with two china-made remote control helicopters,the NATO helicopter had already left, this comes after Donald trump (not donald duck re, donald trump is father of Ivanka trump! her pic given below) withdrew nomination From US presidential race,

It was reported(rumoured) that Veena malik desired to enter the white house (due to Jealous factor) just like mallika sherwat left Obama sweating to his knees.

News from Bollywood:
Meanwhile, Mallika and her revealing lace-dress failed to impress Mumbai Airport officials, unDisclosed official said "The entire see-thru outfit is unclear, unclean and a mish mash of too many things with her undergarment, whereas Playboy magazine model Candice Boucher was better,in which her goodies were covered with just lacey flowers.”

Well, better luck next time Mallika !!

Athithi devo bhava!

2011-04-18T09:15:00.002+05:30

The Fool Ministry is scheduled to hold a meeting with civil society (including stray dogs & cats, Crows & cows) to discuss steps for reducing food wastage at weddings and social gatherings.

"The issue of food wastage has been the subject of discussion since ancient times. The Animal Affairs Minister would be meeting to discuss the steps that could be taken to counter these trends" Minister said.

Terming the food wastage at social gatherings as "criminal act", Fool Minister had recently said the government could bring a new law in this regard whereby local ministers and their coterie will attend the function to eat the leftovers.

"The need of the hour is to stop such kind of wastage because there are still some percentage of population who get only one time meal (also includes Minister's PA & body guards)" the minister had said.

There are reports that food wastage is to the extent of 15-20 per cent, he had said, adding that the government will also look into the Guest Control Order of the 1960s, which mandates the hosts to include guests from "all walks" of life & society at marriages and other events.

Meanwhile, keeping the Indian tradition of rumor flying faster than air, Eggs and Tomatoes from salads were hurled at Mr.Hairball Ready to welcome him during his visit to attend a function.

Customer is busy, please dial again.

2011-04-16T08:28:00.002+05:30

In a major setback to Outosys Technologies, the company announced that Mr.Poi (translation..Gone in Malayalam!), the good looking member of board of the company has decided to resign.

India's second-largest "services" exporter, hurt market expectations despite a 31 percent rise in quarterly "sales" despite in a seasonally weak mood globally.

After the exit of Mr.Poi & Other Top Management, from Outosys, Retail Investors and Penny stock traders too have started exiting the stock en-masse in anticipation of mega bull rally.

Now much experienced (read Old) people too have started leaving the company since Mr.Poi was only good looking person and motivating factor in entire company since founding.

This decision came a day after a tabloid exposed a "Fresh" (means 5 year-experienced not worked at all Bencher) frustrated Associate, was caught on camera while urinating in a Conference Call (Con-Call) room which was used to serve Onshore Clients/customers.

One frustrated investor says, Entire world knows the Outsys standard compared to others, which is par below least expected standard in "service industry".

Meanwhile,Undisclosed sources say,all these exits (read as demotivated people) are making inroads into the airline industry, since "Motivating" factors in Airlines is very high.

The members of the board placed on record their deep sense of appreciation for the services rendered by Mr.Poi and other associates during their tenure as the members of the team.

Hero-Honda Split up joke! Audio Only,No video!!!!

Poonam's PMS

2011-04-11T10:57:00.004+05:30

Poonam Pandey who has been retracting from her statements and decisions as promised after the World Cup win.

Producers and country men contacted Poonam after things didn't work out between them and her. She agreed to do it on last night.Hope she doesn't change her mind just before she takes next step.

Now,she garnered maximum publicity, and then backtracked from her promise. Now she has done an about turn from her TV debut.

now, producers of show have already started "hunger strike till poonam stops change of mind...", meanwhile,in background unanimous chanting of "Jaa Bewafa Jaa Ab Vishwas Nahi Karna",which reminds of song by ALTAAF RAJA from album DIL KE TUKDE HAZAAR HUE

jaggu says, "It is now time for Youth of India ( YoI's) to go on hunger strike movement for Poonam's promised "action". he further adds" I am sure poonam pandey will get motivated with this.."

meanwhile Bar and Drunkards Association (BDA) has come out with slogan "jooth bole kauwa kaate"

jaggu says "Our prayers are with the channel and youth of India for depriving the privilege of Man-kind in the name of Poonam's PMS (Publicity Maximum Syndrome)."

Poonam Pandey is back, so is Shane Warne!!

2011-04-06T09:52:00.005+05:30

Poonam Pandey tweets: Once Steve Forbes said "A promise made should be a promise kept",she further adds,"guys soon i will complete my promise, just Wait n watch".

So there's plenty of hope, guys!!

Hours before the India win on Saturday, the model's phone was switched off. And over the weekend, her phone has been "out of coverage area".

Finally, public relationship officer said Poonam had been admitted to a hospital (refused to say for what,where and when)

He also said he was feeling feverish reading at jokes and would not be available on the phone. For good measure, he then, coughed.

As Poonam suggests, we will wait, and certainly, watch...

Meanwhile Jaggu congratulating the Indians for continous pestering and patience over the weekend,on Tuesday, has recommended that Poonam Pandey be conferred "Bharat Ratna", the country's highest civilian award.

The motion congratulating the indians and recommending Bharat Ratna for Poonam Pandey was moved by jaggu and supported by all "Men-kind" parties.

"We recommend that Poonam Pandey be conferred with the Bharat Ratna for her contribution for Motivation to Mankind" jaggu said before the August house, which passed the resolution unanimously.

jaggu's main opposition party spokesperson Tommy says "This achievement has not come easy for her and it has required 20 years of making and layers of unblemished skin fairness creams".

Similarly, two members of the her support staff Sri.Samaan Ootha (logistics manager) and Mr.Paer Dhabaa (masseur) will be honoured,as their hard work has paid off!!

In another "Break"ing news

Legendary Australian Shane Warne, no stranger to off-field shenanigans, who also starred with two 25-year female models in his home production "Australian Nights", has said he wants to coach the Indian cricket team, saying he wants to enjoy with M.S. Dhoni's boys, his decision comes after announcing end of his short-lived so called relationship with Elizabeth hurley.

Warne is widely regarded as one of the greatest for his extraordinary Australian adventures.

Poonam Pandey Missing, Desperate India launches "Man-hunt" to "Find her!"

2011-04-03T10:01:00.005+05:30

Mumbai Model, Miss Poonam Pandey, who had threatened to do a full Monty if india cricket team wins, switched off her cellphone on Saturday when India won the World Cup. Sources say the 20-year-old model was being inundated with calls from lakhs of people begging her to strip for them.

When Jaggu tracked Miss Pandey, told about overwhelming support for her. she said "All of them are encouraging me. I can bare all wherever i want. It can be inside the dressing room or in the stadium."

She added that "going nude in private with consenting adults for a therapeutic purpose" is not an offence."

Miss.Pandey goes on to add: "I am serious about it, as, many studies conducted by various universities abroad confirm such performances boost and inspire people to perform better in any field, be it sports or otherwise".

Meanwhile,Wankhede stadium turns into Fortress.

Over 5,000 security personnel will man the stadium making this the biggest security cover for a Individual event.

In related news, Railways to run Extra 5 more trains to wankede stadium.
In an effort to ensure that fans do not suffer overcrowded trains the day of the Action - the railways has announced more five new services for the day.

While the Western Railways has added two trains to its existing 1,210 services, Central Railways has added three trains to its 1,593 services.

"We expect around 15,000 people to commute by trains to Wankhede stadium in Churchgate" said chief "public-relationship" officer. he further added "The train's capacity and schedule will be flexible depending on the mood of Miss Poonam Pandey."

India won the match, World lost "view to kill"

2011-03-31T10:13:00.004+05:30

Fans of Veena Malik were Disappointed when, veena malik on "Wednesday midnight" blamed a sluggish Misbah-ul-Haq for defeat in the World Cup semifinal thriller with arch-rivals India.

"We lost because of Misbah, as he did not "Play" well when it was most required," angry and irritated malik said standing on Islamabad's main Jinnah Avenue hoping to do "jhalak dhikhla jaa" Larissa Riquelme-style as thousands of disappointed viewers were leaving streets after seeing the results.

The government had declared a half-day holiday in offices and schools to enable the population to enjoy the "Action", Special prayers were offered at Homes & Empty Offices to guide the Pakistani team to play, than being lazy.

"He just wasted time doing nothing."she added.

jaggu's reader sheena malik (name changed on request)(her pic given below) said, "while world may be disappointed with team, i am very impressed with shaid africa who is still 18! after playing 20 long years (he says he is underaged compared to team mates)"

In the eastern city of Lahore, more than 20,000 Pakistanis thronged the Gaddafi stadium to witness the "Live Telecast" on large screens. Entry was free and people (Esp. Boys & Men ) formed long serpentine queues to get in, which resulted in all major roads were gridlocked with cars, motorcycles and jubilant revellers on streets hoping to see veena malik's best !!.

Fans in other Pakistani cities who ground cities to a halt to watch the action also criticised Misbah, who scored a lackluster 56 with "76 balls". His slow play pushed the Pakistan towards frustration.

"By the end of the day, 30 people were brought to hospitals across Karachi after being wounded by bullets fired due to frustration and despair", hospital officials said.

But according to sources close to team said, " Misbah was playing all along under impression that it was test match, since he can't remember when it was last time, he played a test match, only in the last two overs he realised his mistake, but it was too late for him to "play interesting" shots"

New Update:

Poonam Pandey to bare all if India wins against Pak in World Cup semifinal.Lankans waste no time, take flight to Mumbai ASAP.

19 year old Model and aspiring actress Poonam Pandey, who is part of a popular calendar, announced that she will bare all like Larissa Riquelme of Paraguay and Luciana Salazar of Argentina, after hearing this news,Kumar Sangakkara decided to waste absolutely no time and took the next immediate flight available for Mumbai with his team on Wednesday morning to be in the "right atmosphere"

"Murali is a great man.These kind of fairytale endings keep happening to him,When he is such a nice guy, good things happen to him." Sri Lanka are certainly in the right mood and a very good frame of mind coming to mumbai.

meanwhile,150kgs gorilla-size adnon swami says,"if India wins, All girls are welcome to my bathroom to see me.."

photos featured here are of descriptive nature and subject to change!

From Africa with Love!

2011-03-29T07:48:00.001+05:30

Mysore zoo authorities wrote more than 1,200 e-mails to Feline cat family and their distant relatives,before they got the four cheetahs from Johannesburg on a "special charter flight via goa".

With the arrival of these four cheetahs, Mysore Zoo has become the only zoo in south India and second in India after Junagad zoo in Gujarat to have cheetahs as "honarary resident".

Cheetahs, considered the fastest terrestrial animals, can sprint up to 120 km per hour and can stride 7 to 8 mts...considering bangalore just is 140kms from mysore,these cheetahs can make their journey in just 1.30 hrs, at behest of CM's orders.

reason for bringing them is:cheetah will attempt to silence and corner any rebels/dissidents/opposition, and fight results in serious uproar drama and confusion in state assembly, and advantage for CM.

"karnataka's" cheetah in its "natural colours"

cheetahs are social animals and may form coalitions together for life, usually with "their brothers",some may defect and some join an existing group. Those groups are called Rebels.

A coalition is six times more likely to obtain an ministry or majority territory than a lone Rebel, although studies have shown that coalitions keep their majority in assembly just as long as lone rebels are confused and best left ignored by the party high command till completion of 5 years term.

"Original" Cheetah in natural habitat with "coalition".

Old habits Die Hard!!

2011-03-26T17:49:00.000+05:30

Bangalore: Power outages and an acute water shortage which are normal routine of bangaloreans these days, have pushing furious citizens to vent their emotions on water board staff. Barely a day after BSSSC inspector Shankar Rao was beaten up by residents of Vidyaranyapura (loose translation, knowledge of jungle area) , residents of Shanthinagar (Heavenly silence) area have threatened field inspectors of BSSSC with dire consequences, if the regular water supply was restored.

On Friday, BSSSC employees protested in front of the Resident Forest officer of Vidyaranyapura and demanded protection from the Vanar sena this summer.

Rudrappa (translation= father of Lord Siva), president, BSSSC Employees’ Association, said it was not the first time an inspector was severely beaten up. “Earlier, BSSSC field staff were manhandled at "several places". We repeatedly appealed to residents to approach higher officials, if there was a problem with field staff. Since "several places" are facing a same problem, we’ve asked Govt to consider mass transfer of all employees to mythical Dandakaranya area,” he said.

when jaggu asked the Rudrappa, for more information abt Dandakaranya, pat the reply came "The Dandakaranya area was the location of the turning point in the Ramayana, The plot for the divine objectives of the Hindu Trinity to uproot the "rakshasas" from the land was formulated here."

Jaggu's imagination of dandakaranya

Rudrappa further added
"According to the Ramayana, Dandakaranya was home to many deadly creatures and demons. now these are outside the Dandakaranya area. Earlier, Exiled persons resided here, like Shree Rama, his wife Sita and his brother Lakshmana spent 13 years as exiles traveling around the region." and he added "When Shree Ram (bolo jai Shree Raam) and Maate Sita deviji can spend their 13 years peacefully there,why cant we?"

Jaggu reporting from Bangalore Sewage and Short-temper Supply Co (aka. BSSSC) Head Office.
GPS co-ordinates:.Un-disclosed (Some where behind the Bangalore water supply line)

Headlines for the 1st, 2nd & 3 rd week of march 2011

2011-03-20T18:51:00.001+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Ex-CJI’s kin have disproportionate assets, says I-T |BEST reports drop in passengers

MLA walked into trap at bar |State didn’t use 58% funds for urban poor

Teen robbed of cash he had saved for treatment |Corporators’ fund raised by 25 lakh

Ek teer, do nishane |Man withdraws PIL on motor schools |BEST reports drop in passengers

Kat calling Aamir |Just good friends? |Where was Hrithik?

Varun Gandhi's wedding reception in Delhi cancelled|Iran arrests two opposition leaders: Report

Bobby refuses to spank buttocks |Pak govt told to block anti-Islamic websites

City zoo to be open today | Cops court match-maker's role

Two schoolkids burned alive |Undertrial hurls shoes at Ghaziabad judge

At Rs 6.14 cr, Cognizant CEO is top paid | Scientist seeks support for robot football players

Barber gets Rs 2.5 lakh in big, fat Gujjar wedding|Give more details on zoo, BMC told|

Karnataka Milk Fed ghee shortage hits Tirupati laddu| Infy plans key roles for geNext leaders

Ranveer Singh doesn't wear underwear after 10pm |Even B'lore police chief's email a/c is not secure

Doctors say ‘yes’ to no-exam policy |Teachers will spend 15 hrs extra each week in school

Woman helps cops catch hubby who kidnapped minor |RTE Act: Classroom To Be More ‘Joyful’ For Students

Match in heaven costs 100 cr on earth |When Mithun Da met Shiamak Da-var

CBI grills Idea CEO in 2G scam |Back to school

1.5L ITI grads get better pay packets |Now, kids can moonwalk at Nehru Planetarium

Aamir’s found a new guru |... meanwhile Hrithik and family offer puja

Soon, food courts, fast food joints at railway stations |Raja may be charged with endangering nat’l security

Cops bar Jaitapur activists from holding meeting |Power bills may get cheaper

Gandhi family gets bahu after 37 yrs |"Depressed" Youth sets self on fire at Mamata's door

British woman cheated by Colaba family |Hasan Ali arrested in Mumbai by ED

India must chew on their bowling |ICC IN THE HOT SPOT AGAIN

Pakistan on the right track |Canada home & dry vs Kenya

Johnston’s chicken dance for the Irish soul |England are now a serious threat

Just one day for women? |Sanju goes bald

Mother pushes 2 kids, leaps from 19th floor |Don’t care if govt lives or goes, Sonia told DMK

CAT seeks papers on cop who took on Hasan Ali |Youth attacks a Khar housewife, nabbed by guard

Citizens get ready to face a dry Wednesday |Before WC, police send beggars packing

The big fashion hoax |Salman to raise a toast

Shahana’s a criminal? |Here’s the proof! |Bips goes underground

Charlie Sheen fired from show |Abhinav Shukla left in the lurch

Candidates must open new bank a/cs for polls |IndiGo pilot arrested for forging result

Delhi neta wins legal battle for D-property |Settle minor mishaps on streets: HC

Thackeray grandson booked after bar raid |Hrithik makes a guzaarish

Pre-recorded wake-up call for sleepy students |Gaddafi’s forces add fuel to raging fire, bomb oil facilities

Mahela harps on consistency |In-laws were harassing Nidhi, father tells police

Megan Fox frustrated with her body |Charlie wants a wooden wife

CBI questions Kanimozhi, Karuna’s wife, Kalaignar MD |Govt to make abortion pills tough to buy

CNG nightmare hits city commuters |Seven Phatak homes raided nationwide

Cop gets 2 years in jail for kidnapping woman |Bank made to pay for going back on loan closure deal

Pakistan train their guns on Oz now |It’s dangerous to think you know this game: Trott

Raja’s Batcha, grilled on 2G, found dead |Fearing worst, countries & cos begin evacuation

Don’t get 100% in math, board students advised |LOCKERS SEALED, FIXED DEPOSIT FROZEN

City grapples with frequent call connect, drop problems |

CM stays demolition of illegal shrines |Testing time for copycats: 3,580 & counting

Racecourse to host organic food bazaar |Locals threaten stir against BMC

holi hai bhai, bhura mat mano holi hai

2011-03-19T09:39:00.001+05:30

Lucky leopard escaped from Mysore Infosys.

2011-03-10T09:52:00.001+05:30

Lucky leopard escaped from Mysore Infosys.

infosys mysore campus had an unusual drama early Wednesday morning. The jobless leopard(in search of good food and good looking mate) after attending the campus interview with HR people couldnt leap back to safety as it got stuck with various irritating procedures for checkout after a visit to campus.

when infosys employee clicked tried to click a photograph of the leopard,the frustrated leopard (who was hired,but was going to be put on bench as other 75,000 present employees), attacked the to-be colleague .

later,during transit, leopard made a plee to Forest officer, to keep him away from infosys and other IT companies campuses, being he hardly enjoyed the stale food served there.

jaggu asked the chief forest recruitment officer (HR, Animal section) for views on the drama, he said "he is a lucky leopard....that he hasn't signed the job application bond yet,else he wud have been put up on empty bench like other 75000 employees, which wud have resulted in a frustrated bencher..who wud have been depressed maniac to society, killing his partners and others.

but according to UnReliable sources,it has been confirmed that the beast is actually a African lion but rigorous training with on bench for past 3 years and tasteless food with previous IT employer made him look like useless sleepy idiotic leopard.

For Newbies: An Insight into Fail-Safe Indicator(FSI) trading system.

2011-03-08T10:46:00.000+05:30

For Newbies: An Insight into Fail-Safe Indicator(FSI) trading system.
Fail Safe Indicator is a Trading system which has designed in a excel sheet with pre-defined set of formulas that trigger entry and exits in a market on price value(Open-High-Low-Close) input. FSI requires data of just 7 trading days,which makes it potent weapon in traders arsenal.

it can be used for any stock,Index or any commodity for eg.crude and Nifty 50..snapshot given below

i have data of crude oil in Indian rupees..same can substituted with dollar or vice versa or any price values...here u can look at profits generated by fail-safe indicator with buy-sell points.

Nifty index:

how to use the excel sheet indicator

there are 3 components of fail safe indicator for stocks and extra (warning)indicator for index

StopLoss value = this stoploss value is meant for your long or short position,u can also place same stoploss value to your stock portfolio with nifty as reference.

Positional Trend(Pos.Trend)= this indicator tells u whether the market is in daily down trend or daily uptrend,this is meant for short term trading/day traders...since this value changes on daily basis.

Overall indicator = tells us the current mkt trend whether its bear market(shown as sell) or bull market(shown as Buy)..

final indicator meant for index is
Warning indicator = this column tells when to buy the mkt and when to sell the index/mkt..(this is useful to index only, not for stocks)

4th feb Week of laziness

2011-02-26T16:40:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Project on track to wreck wildlife habitat: Activists | BEST bus collides with car

UK educators are full of praise for Indian schools | Bar owners to meet R R Patil soon

From Hollywood extra to Bollywood lead | Chandan bags Deepa Mehta’s project

Patna girl elopes with tenant, FIR lodged | Collector is in touch with wife'

Venugopal Dhoot, MP brother questioned by CBI in 2G scam | Libya in flames, Gaddafi may have fled

Cold nights, hot days make for an unusual Feb | Bars may lose licence for flouting dance ban

BMC studying plan to rebuild Khar police stn | BMC studying plan to rebuild Khar police stn

‘MY DAY WILL COME’ |Chaining dogs will land you in jail

‘We are no chokers’ | I did what Sachin had said: Tamim

Yes,I have ten flats.So? asks Priyanka Chopra | Hitler goes to Berlin

Breaking the monotony | Additi gupta stops a wedding | CBI questions Raja’s brother for sixth time

Srinath enlists Dhoni in zoo adoption scheme| Charminar suffers damage, repairs underway

Morning shoots unlucky for Salman!| Katrina tries singing now!

Model threatened at gun point| Bhanot, Verma in 5-day CBI custody

Who’s that girl? | Bhanot, Verma abused office: CBI

ISRO finds cave on moon; can be used as human outpost| Indian embassy begins NRI registrations in Oman

Boy follows old schedule, misses French exam | Cops probe missing HSC answer sheets

Imams undergo training to deliver inclusive sermons| Sehwag, Nehra back in action

21-year-old ends life, hubby, mom-in-law held | Grill Sheila, Jaipal too, says Kalmadi

Combining work with pleasure!| Tihar inmates make a killing in placements

Lack of loos at stations raises a stink | Passenger train derails near Chiplun

11 mn illegal migrants in US; India major source| Deutsche Bank top recruiter at IIM-A

Tanu Weds Manu: Movie Review| Protesters hit by hail of gunfire in Libya

Best at the last serve!

Sensex plunges 546 pts, biggest fall in 16 months due to Crude Oil...BP enters india,tats y mukeshbhai & Co drills stocks hope to find oil in them!!

Sunday Wilderness

2011-02-20T11:07:00.000+05:30

CCTV reveals ‘raaz’ of thefts at Vikram Bhatt’s residence| CBI conducts midnight raid on Kalaignar TV

Ex-call centre employee held for sending threat emails | Nothing to hide, says Kanimozhi

‘No one is my competition’...says Shazahn Padamsee| Imagine… a worst-case scenario

ALL SET FOR BANGLA DASH |Yuvraj, a victim of believing in his own myth

What’s the score? says Imran Khan |3 item songs for 4.5 crore fixed rate says Mallika

Filmi Friday |Who is Anand Raj Anand wooing? |Malaika’s hair secrets revealed

Waiting for the right role |Sonu to judge again

Germany's 'cut-and-paste' minister gives up PhD | Chacko, Deo frontrunners to head JPC

PMK to partner DMK in TN, gets 31 seats| Not received CBI summons: Kanimozhi

'Berlo copied bunga-bunga from Libyan leader'|Salman first to strike post IPL

Veena Malik finds a new guy? |Victory rally' in Egypt; cleric for sacking cabinet

SWEET REVENGE FOR INDIA |HC says drinking and abusing wife is cruelty

Kasab resigned to fate as V-day nears ...jaggu thought valentine's day just gone by!!

Army adopts use-&-throw policy with women says Major..9000 Kashmiris throng army job rally!

Cong MP abuses Yoga Guru Ramdev |UP couple commits suicide |8 injured in UP group clash
Free caged monkeys, Pamela tells AIIMS | Win a contest, get a job

KAMAL MAY TEAM UP WITH SONAKSHI | Marriage under wraps!

‘I did not get the films I wanted’...says Esha Deol| MUNNI, MADS AND MONEY

‘Good bye Mumbai, I will miss you’ says Astrologer Bejan Daruwalla| Stylish times ahead

Aryan’s wife slaps him twice! | Kaali in trouble? | Chandrakanta to return...

US doubts HAL's capability

Washington has expressed serious doubts on the ability of Hindustan Aeronautics Ltd (HAL) to handle projects like the MMRCA, dubbing it "untested and suspect".

This drew a sharp response from a defence ministry official, "We have people who "blow" air into the tires,our pilots ask for directions in Mid air and Oil Mafia put kerosene instead of Jetfuel into the tanks. Our strategy to kill enemy soldiers, is sending stupid ideas of Doggy,kaja's, kalmuhe, make them die of laughter."

3rd feb Week of Chaos and Madness

2011-02-18T11:12:00.003+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

BMC’s demolition men attacked by mob again | Soon, social work could get you your dream job

CST in a flurry after bomb hoax |Teachers count, parents step in

College celebrations |Univ to host talk by Dalai Lama |Violent clashes in Mumbra, 13 held

5 m B’lore roses will spread love across globe |Bloody Mary on Ahd streets at Rs.250

PM addresses piracy issue |Anand Raj Anand replaces Pritam

Pak to seek Musharraf’s extradition in Bhutto case|Spidey caught in labour dept web

Sikhs forced to remove turbans at Milan airport|US girl eats five soaps a week

Mere dowry charge can’t nail man for wife’s suicide: HC |State may shut down 5 police stations in city

Man held for killing wife |Conviction can’t be based on an angry tirade, says court

Driver arrested with opium worth Rs.2.9 lakh |Mumbai gets on track, burns fat at cyclothon

Without keys, thieves fail to loot bank vault |Mid-day meals may get tastier

Govt ups BlackBerry heat on telcos |Wife elopes, man kills 3 kids in rage

Girl kills self as principal dubs her thief |Criminals set cop’s wife afire

Engg student kills self|CBI man among five held

Ramdev’s car kill two|INDIA’S BIG CHANCE NOW

Fed up with Berlo, women rally for ‘dignity’ |Hurt Shoaib Akhtar wants to win it for the people

‘Shoot the farmer’: Bono causes stir in SA |WE’RE USED TO THE CHAOS

Filmistan Studio may be sold for 500 crore |Mumbaikars say they are ‘alienated’

Catering firm staffer held for theft at Juhi’s residence |Decision on milk price hike likely today

Tapping colleges for blood donations pays off |Over 1 lakh phones tapped a year?

Cheque or hard cash? Stage show payment in grey zone |PMO knew of Isro deal: Devas chief

Asha Bhosale to get honorary DLitt |Man arrested for killing wife in Kandivli

What crashed Priyanka’s Bryan plan? | Playboy party leaves 170 ill|

Raja held for misbehaving with actor|thane mental hospital to allow patients kin to stay on premises

After 125 yrs, secret Coke formula is out |Bummer of ’11 for ‘Summer of 69’ singer, fans

Sheila meets PC: Transfer of 4 babus put off |Cop run over by fleeing industrialist

No guests from IPL, Bollywood |Don’t want to talk about Sachin: Azhar

I’m not as big a culprit as being made out to be: PM |Anil Ambani examined by CBI

BComs, BScs pip MBAs to jobs |PC as FM wrote to PM for auction, revenue cut

Our airport ranks among the best, but there’s miles to go |Ambedkar page blocked, rioters held

New fee draft upsets PTAs, schools|Where’s proof, customs asks ‘owner’ of diamonds stolen at Goregaon show

Chennai man gets kidney in city|New aviation minister holds meet to hear out grievances

Assam mins’ better halves better off too | Varun hands out wedding invite to Sonia

‘Thief’ kills self at MP police stn |Anil has answered all our queries: CBI

Govt hasn’t given up on reforms: PM |Saddam’s WMDs: Man who started it all says he lied

India high on MSD |Shruti talking of flying high |Abhay is furious, not doing Dostana 2

What’s marriage got to do with TRPs? |Emraan ditched Imran signed? |Shilpa under threat!

Get chatty! |Did Paswan call Kangna? |A chance for local heroes

HC fines wife 10k for lying in divorce case |Rahat Ali Khan quizzed by DRI for 12 hours

Marriage papers solve the riddle of two ‘wives’ |After arrest, Mhada official suspended

Vague answers & sms lingo stump examiners |Students go missing during testing time

5 youths tricked by firm, left stranded in China |Man jumps off Malad building| Rahat grilled for 12 hrs, more likely

Bangladesh is like being at home: Afridi |Akhtar, Riaz fined for night-out

Innovations come with risks too |India should stick to simple plans

Look what the boys will wear |Fresh n Exciting

who is trying to be picasso?| ‘I’M AN INCURABLE ROMANTIC’...says Hrithik Roshan ||Hrithik’s bed-time story

Ready for a fresh beginning... |Rock the dance floor |This one’s for the guys

Why tyson started fighting...| Halle berry wins rights to daughter

Music ka tadka! |Now Sunny on small screen

Jackky’s found a friend in Remo! |The Kat, Kareena deep bond

Amisha's making heads turn! |Full on paisa vasool

A night to remember |Boys will be boys...

‘People have a morbid fascination with me’| Petra Nemcova wants a ‘loads of fun’ wedding

Salman can't escape Ranbir|Chandigarh: Now, dogs walk the ramp

Important News from Great Britain:
DON'T give aid, India doesn't need it,United Kingdom MPs in unison.. they asked the House of Uncommons to,Instead give the money to needy Prince Charles to set up his kingdom,since he is already fed up with Queen mother,since she is unwilling to abdicate the throne,charles who has been waiting 30 years for throne,now put his hands in the air,now he wants to adopt a indian village and rule from britain.

meanwhile update from india, Prince Charles is building an eco-friendly model village with around 15000 people in India.Prince Charles recently met potters,buffaloes,camels,snakes and other animals of animal kingdom for their opinion on administration and governance deficit in Indian villages, ...

Charles is tired of lack of respect by the British public shown to him and his wife, so now wants to lead a tension-free peaceful life and attain Niravana..urged farmers to adopt popular trance music like Buddha bar, moksha as a "significant alternative route." ..

after hearing the proposal of Financial support for his to be kingdom in the house of Uncommons, charles dashed off to his future-kingdom and his kingdom erupted in celebratory mood..jaggu caught charles in celebratory and jolly mood with his spy camera

New Government Ordinance,
those who want to have Business Licence in india ,must compulsorily get chargesheet in their name and must be willing to spend atleast a fortnight in CBI custody and Tihar jail.

The potential prisoners in Tihar jail, who must have received vocational and professional(CA's , MBA's) training before serving their terms,their name shud be similar to these,Raja,Raju,Kalmuhe's, kha note's..and the like.

In a first, ten top CEO's of private firms and banks will give the daily lectures and sermons at the jail to suitable persons from the shortlisted 50 inmates who will figure in the placement for Govt jobs, they will be taught to swindle thousands of crores, and avoid being caught and get away with it.

after this jaggu's expose,Government takes steps to ease overcrowding in Tihar Jail,and decided to shift the first class inmates to now abandoned adarsh buliding, here they will get all the jail facilities like wifi internet,24x7 DTH Tv, all other perquisites meant for MP's, MLC's, MLAaaa's and goats plus bonus arabian sea view free of cost.

Under construction picture of building meant for first class inmates.

Important News from Great Britain:

2011-02-18T07:32:00.001+05:30

Important News from Great Britain:
DON'T give aid, India doesn't need it,United Kingdom MPs in unison.. they asked the House of Uncommons to,Instead give the money to needy Prince Charles to set up his kingdom,since he is already fed up with Queen mother,since she is unwilling to abdicate the throne,charles who has been waiting 30 years for throne,now put his hands in the air,now he wants to adopt a indian village and rule from britain.

meanwhile update from india, Prince Charles is building an eco-friendly model village with around 15000 people in India.Prince Charles recently met potters,buffaloes,camels,snakes and other animals of animal kingdom for their opinion on administration and governance deficit in Indian villages, ...

Under construction picture of building meant for first class inmates.

On her Majesty's Service

2011-02-14T10:31:00.002+05:30

Not so distant future at INsecurity council, Krishna reads speech in Italian

India’s external affairs minister S M Krishna, frequently under attack from his cotorie for not being up to speed in 21st century, gave more ammunition to his critics by reading out the speech of the Italian home minister in italian at the INSecurity Council on saturday. Its a matter of grave concern,that S M Krishna spoke in fluent Italian without any vocabular difficulty, quoted spokesperson from India 's leftist centred opposition party.

According to various accounts, he read italian speech with title "Silvio Berlusconi is Innocent" for fifteen minutes before India’s permanent representative to the INSecurity council, gave him the correct text titled "On Her Majesty's Service" written in chaste kannada. But the faux pas rippled through the US Foreign Office and Food and Drug Administration (on suspicion tat,he may had bhaang [Cannabis indica] on US territory) for hours, inviting both sarcasm and merriment from Obama Administration with regards to Job Outsourcing to india .

In another Unrelated news

Rahat Fateh Ali has been detained at IGI with $1.24lakh dollars, immediately after his arrest, Pakistan seeks info about Rahat Fateh Ali Khan's detention in India from Pak high embassy..according to pakistani foreign spokesperson adbul ka shit,"As Per Pakistan foreign policy,if Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is linked to terrorist organisation, then Pakistan would denied his existence as Pakistani national".

Headlines for the 2nd week Feb 2011

2011-02-12T19:51:00.001+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Vilasrao’s cabinet post a shameless act: SC judge | 28 MORE PIRATES being brought to Mumbai

Man sets wife on fire after trivial argument | Netherlands queen gets HC reprieve

Court sets aside man’s life term on grounds of insanity | Two groups clash in Nalasopara

Villagers block highway as tempo runs over 6-year-old | Demand for chartered flights hits a new high

WHEN EAST MEETS WEST |BEST to seek damages from bus manufacturer Ashok leyland

‘Rich Thane is poor on infrastructure front’ |‘Thane station is being given a raw deal’

Just 4 mins/case, yet cases pending at Madras HC | Elephant triggers IIT-Kgp lockdown

Munni, Sheila sizzle in IIM-A class | Court favours Pritam in 26-yr-old lit feud

‘What’s bunga bunga? It’s me’ | Time for the Lions to start roaring again

Age no bar: Briton becomes dad at 72 | George W Bush fears arrest, scraps Swiss visit

Ban will act as a deterrent: ICC |HEAT IS ON RICKY

I cried the day Usha lost to me: Nawal |OVER THE MOON

HOUSEFUL |Picture perfect | College, canteen and cutting chai

Does Neetu prefer Nargis to Katrina? | ‘So what if I kissed 22 times!’

Shia LaBeouf in bar brawl | SRK turns item boy!

Priyanka’s special invite from Lara | Saif and Shahid at loggerheads again?

Man hurls shoe at former Pakistani President Musharraf..according to adbul ka shit "the shoes missed Mush proves that he is innocent".

'It is a frightening time in Pakistan' | Man hurls shoe at Musharraf in London

State power firm promises electricity-cut free summer | High court orders action against staff

August Kranti Maidan up for adoption | ALL IS WELL

Threat call to BARC, no one is arrested | Stones pelted at Andheri colleges

FIRE ALL THE WAY |Chinnaswamy stadium is match ready: Kumble | Journalists seek apology from dy CM

WHY DID MANI MEET RAHUL? | Bebo gets the wives’ vote!

For the bold and beautiful | Partying with the Deols |Oye Punjabis!

Too much of a good thing? | I can be a good house husband says husband

Tusshar knows how to party | Reliving the past

Act against school interviews, govt told | Principals call for background checks on staff, more security

LIGHT AT END OF THE TUNNEL? | 7 held, 19 pumps seized in a clamp down on sand thieves

Museums enable societies to ask questions: MacGregor | Locals beat up film workers at Naigaon

Sibal slams calls for JPC in 2G scam | Compensation sought for mango trees

Principals need not be teachers: Govt | Commuters from Thane voice their grievances

Trapped thieves send SOS to cops | Prez medal-winning UP cop wipes Maya’s shoes

In a new avatar | German couple looted at Bharatpur bird sanctuary

FEAR IS THE KEY |KEEPING THE FAITH | Addicts welcome here, clean syringes

State-of-the-art studio in Mumbai | Fake ‘Scotch’unit busted

Shreyas going through hell | Karan Johar flies to New York

Update your bucket list |Fire breaks out at 'Bombay House' building | JNU questions more students

ADAG blames rumours as stocks crash |Indians eye Dubai for sex tests

Several Mumbaikars on hijacked vessel: DG | Man assaults ration official with rods

Christians welcome govt’s gift | Raja Chaudhary is booked for ‘misbehaviour’

Ex-BMTC staff demand compensation | Medical students to shell out more this yr

Thane man builds bridge over nullah to tide over govt apathy | Spend the weekend smelling roses

Spy falcon caught near Pak border| Buta, Prafulla lose ‘black cat’ cover

Six medical students expelled | Suicide epidemic: 4 students end life

‘Raja made 3,000 cr in bribes’ | Can common man use birthday billboards: HC

No placements for 4 students caught cheating | Army steps in, signals Hosni on his way out

22-year-old held for torching vehicles | Raja Chaudhary likely to be externed

Post-1987, BMC has no record of Bombay House | Illegal sand finds new route to enter city

How harmful is cola? We’ll know next yr | No focus on the negatives: Smith

GREAT EXPECTATIONS | DNA test stares Congressman N D Tiwari in face

This conman gets taken for a ride too |All-woman squad will keep an eye on female cheats

Schools forced to shut before exams | City doctors to protest against increase in fees |Hostages recount horror

More Indian housewives ended their lives last year |Industrial output hits 20-month low in Dec |Onions down to Rs. 12 per kilo

PC points to ethical, governance deficit | Now, eligibility test for teachers

Disparate salaries on IIT campuses to end | Engineer dies after glass crashes on him

Files found in Hyderabad raids nailed Kalmadi aide | It’s a gross case of negligence: SC

BRING THE WORLD ON | Don’t expect a real contest ...bookies are working overtime!!

‘India, SA the two outstanding teams’| IT’S IMPORTANT TO SWITCH OFF

Barack has kicked the butt, says Michelle |BIG CAT ON THE PROWL

Deol bungalow to go? |Aman ki asha at Ajmer Sharief

GET SET FOR A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE |‘Indian women are extraordinarily beautiful’ says Bryan Adam

Katy perry wants kids... |Tattoos aren’t cool, says Mark Wahlberg

Khiladi turns Don |Kitney naam hay?

Look who’s back! |That ’90s show

Reunion on the cards? |Scarlett’s got a new lover, it’s Sean Penn

‘I got a lot of respect for playing gay’ |‘Our marriage is going strong’ says Russell Brand

You need just 25K to own a horse! | Sense of giving still exists

Novel concept to fight piracy | Now Aakashdeep to be sued for misbehaviour

‘I’ve learned how to say NO!’ | Ek cutting chai for Maddy

Ladies night out | Ashmit, Veena get pricey

Kunal and Soha spend happy weekend | Women rule the roost!

‘I’m not a thief’,says Shivani Gosain| Shocking but true!

Headlines for the 1th week Feb 2011

2011-02-05T14:54:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

We must bring back black money, says Rahul |IB grills Karmapa, monastery raids on

Give us just share from revenue: RTO |Man in spot for delay in paying alimony

Man steals car to gift girlfriend a new model | Indian CEOs spend crores to attend meet

Follow India on anti-graft drive: Pak CJ to govt |Threatened, Pak legislator shifts to India

‘Banks can’t use cops to evict defaulters’ |THE GOLDEN HANDSHAKE

When Indian guru charmed UK’s Iron Lady |Egpytian military key to what happens next

What’s in a name? |Egypt burns: Tanks out, 51 dead, troops revolt

‘In raids on homes, sleuths find evidence of Army land’ | Docus given to EC eaten by white ants

Train to Dahanu still a year away |All must serve in rural hosps’

HC acquits woman of killing kids|Nerul teacher awarded

Fires destroy 2 shops, house in 48 hours |Opposition guns for government

Dahisar can breathe easy |AI’s ticket to safety costs Rs 45,000

17 Kurla godowns shut after more raids on oil pilferers |GONE WITH THE WIND?

HC cites backlog in granting bail to lifer |Realty stocks plunge 40% since Diwali

Soon, new guidelines to curb tutorial fires |Has 2G panel nailed Raja?

Don’t use mobiles, Muslim law board tells community |CBI quizzes Raja, hints at arrests

Padma Lakshmi ready for custody war even if Hitler sired her baby |Brotherhood keeps low profile to score

Assange threatens a deluge of secret info if Wiki is shut down |Now, pressure builds on Kazakh strongman

‘This team can win it for India’ |IMPROVISE OR INNOVATE

Kumble assures Jumbo show | Amarnath sees chink in armour

Li faces protest from Chinese fans for remarks |HUGHES EXPECTATIONS

A DATE WITH MISS INDIAS AT TITO’S |As cool as Chulbul

Britney Spears walks down aisle for assistant |Back in action

Sachin strikes gold,theif loots it |Ministry, GoM didn't stop DD loot: Shunglu |Shinde under CBI scanner

Hosni must go, furious Egypt cries in one voice |Royalty on the ramp

‘Lalli, DD boss allowed to loot govt’ |Ashok Chavan joins hall of shame

Popat Shinde’s kids demand CBI probe |CBI may question more officials

Pirates booked for attempt to murder | Protect lakes in city: Court

Teen robber runs right into cop net |Luck saves ‘forgetful’ TN cop

Suryanamaskar in buff for Yeddy to fight evil eye? |ED grills Karmapa again

Dogs can tell if you have bowel cancer |Street smart: Crime maps to ensure a safer UK

Can people’s power propel Egypt out of chaos? |Coming: Train that’s as fast as jet

Maybach starts 2nd innings with Rs. 4 crore tag |Car loans set to become costlier

Ash causes blackout |CBI to grill Raja for the fourth time

Vidya may romance Naseer again |Ashley Greene’s a friendly gal

Mobile phones a health risk, says govt panel | Raja, ex-telecom secy, key aide arrested; linked to Swan, Unitech

Clean water is a basic right, HC warns BMC |Rival Mubarak camps clash in Egypt, 500 hurt

Milk prices to rise by at least Rs.2 a ltr |Flood of complaints across the city

Guest picked up Sachin’s gift ‘by mistake’, returns it |Uddhav says BMC’s hands are clean

India Inc to conduct recruitment drive in Tihar|CBI given five-day custody of Raja, Behura and Chandolia

Prostitution racket busted in Rajkot gym...Oopn Demands Modis Resignation!!

'Food terrorists' kidnap McDonald's mascot|WikiLeaks among nominees for Nobel Peace Prize

Hitler's headquarters in Ukraine to be made tourist attraction| World food prices hit record high: UN agency

Eunuch's mysterious death in train toilet|Woman cop commits suicide

2 forged letters keep ONGC headless |20 Cong MLAs back Ashok Chavan; CBI questions promoters

If you can write English, you can speak it: UPSC |Schools left confused by court order

Court quashes PIL against astrology |Bollywood meets CM

Milk to cost 3 more from Feb 16 |HC wants better deal for judiciary

BEST rings bells on fake currency notes |BMC fishes for funds Likely to hike service fees

Has Zardari secretly married US doctor? |Control production of noisy crackers: HC

Man arrested for abducting Goa hotelier’s daughter |44 goats called to court as evidence

Goa's the best place to be born |Biryani war between Telangana, Andhra

US cannot teach Eng at madrassas |Forget dogs, airports to have ‘sniffer rats’ soon

Will Kasab’s fate be sealed on Monday?|Those refusing to vacate old bldgs may face jail term

THEFTS ON TRAINS RISE |‘CCTVs at most rail stns at wrong angles’

Top cop can seal brothel: HC | The second life of rubbish

Mumbai's Fresh faces|Scamsters on screen!

Ajay shines on KJo’s couch |Govinda serves masala khichdi

Break ke baad |I’m happily dead: Sameer Dharmadhikari

JLo’s sister is a Bollywood item girl! |WANTED: A JONTY MOMENT

Shaadi ka mausam... | Braided maidens |THE GAME CHANGERS

Saif to debut on TV this year? |AAMIR IS THE VILLAIN IN DHOOM:3 |

Wife ke liye kuch bhi karega! |Three arch rivals to join Hrithik?

Twin trouble |Amisha Bonds With Salman

Rajnikanth back in triple role | Ali Zafar in action mode?

Headlines for the 4th week Jan 2011

2011-01-28T12:23:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Ignore Sibal’s comments on 2G report, SC tells CBI | Man sends HC 20K, wants 1-hour hearing

Thieves strike at temple in Charkop | SC refuses to stay Tiwari’s suspension

FII selloff spooks mkts,Sensex down 300pts | BSE gets 15 threat mails in one day

17-yr-old leaps to death from 11-storeyed bldg | Govt Law College students grill minister over poor facilities

Andheri school will give admission forms today | When SRK got lucky

Liechtenstein denies black money info | K’taka BJP hits back, files plaint against 4 ex-CMs

Surrogate mother can keep baby, says British court | Swiss detain banker, Assange cries foul

Kalmadi and Bhanot booted out from OC | Managing two dailies is not a joke!

Probe ordered to find out who leaked Radia tapes | Teachers can’t be forced to do census duty: HC

Gang targets share-broker | Man sent threat emails for stock prices to fall

3 celebrities raided for tax ‘evasion’ | Schools and staff celebrate reprieve

Mantralaya to go paperless | 4 held for bank fraud

Cops will visit Thane elders | Parents threaten to protest

Jethmalani jumps to Binayak’s defence | Binayak’s wife booked under Foreigners’ Act

‘Of course, Nehru-Edwina were in love’ | India at No 2 in natural disasters list .. Important lessons learnt

Raja jailed? |...meanwhile SRK’s show sees new trouble

Chilean President lands copter on highway, short of gas | World jobless rate stuck at record high: ILO, Crude Oil falls to $85

Hut owners eye EK KA DUS | ONIONS HIT Rs.4 in Nashik

Expensive tomatoes leave bitter taste in Indian curry | Nursing homes call off one-day strike

I-T search over at Katrina’s residence | RTI activist attacked; suspicion on builder

Sion Hosp doctors do not go on strike | Postman parcels off ‘raddi’ for 756

Govt takes up affordable "homes" cause | Army ‘blocks’ Major’s dream wedding plan

Man who became dad at 14 set to be grandpa at 29 |‘There’s a limit how much RBI can do’

Hubby was harassed by bar girl: Bldr’s wife | Double delight for Hyderabad

Soon fridges, ACs and other goods may get costlier | Woman commander leads R-Day parade |Premji upset with govt’s performance

Tur prices go north | Men lock up, torture bar boy all night

Black market in fuels is worth 10,000 cr, employs thousands | No drivers for Navi Mum buses

Food inflation above 15% for 4th week| Fridges, ACs and other goods may cost more

‘Why didn’t govt chase black money?’ asks SC | Nelson Mandela in hospital

Inner secrets revealed |Charlie sheen’s behaviour worries Denise Richards

Taylor and Jake back together? |Eva longoria, Kate Beckinsale to host Posh’s baby shower

SRK opens gym to friends| Imran Khan cuts short his honeymoon

Raja Chaudhary detained in Sao Paolo bash-up | Monikangana wants to fly

Sridevi moves in with Boney’s parents |It’s masti time for Neelam’s gang

Moonlight Romance amidst Oaks |‘Am not surprised!’...says Abhishek Bachchan

Hrithik’s kids confused |Amy critics, beware!

Himesh, in an international avatar now! | Look who’s far from insecure

Zarine won't get raunchy | Students give thumbs up to film on ragging

De Niro coming to talk business | Teasing to deceive

Kim says she’s intelligent! | Russia plans to send piloted rocket to Mars

Films, friends and fun... | And the party continued

Padma Lakshmi, Adam Dell lock horns over 11-month-old daughter Krishna Thea |Yeh mera India, I love my India...

Bicycle prices to go up on higher input costs |Unusual but rocking!

No one called |‘I’M YET TO MEET RUSHDIE’ says Shriya Saran

Where’s the next shock coming from? |‘I hope we can do it for India’

Raja Chaudhary held for abusing ex-wife | THE PERFECT GAMEPLAN

WAITING FOR WONDER BABY | Ouch! What they found, where |‘I’m a relaxed man now ’...says Ajay Devgn

Revealed: Ranbir’s Valentine’s Date! | Aamir’s favourite is Ranbir, not Imran!

AMRITA RAO’S KINKY IDEAS |Bebo gets food poisoned

Celina happy to be hitched |Nikhil Dwivedi spotted selling credit cards!

Gods, demons and a booking counter |Rock the party!

Headlines for the Jan 2011, 3rd week

2011-01-21T13:38:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

1,500 NURSING HOMES THREATEN TO STRIKE | Airports put on alert

IAS COUPLE RAKED IN 360 CR & COUNTING |State hikes med college fees by 120%

I cannot stop supply of corruption: Jairam Ramesh | Bamboo puzzle stumps govt

Man beaten up for good turn | IAS officers told to list assets by Jan 31

Wife-beater Indian diplomat recalled | Says It’s Best Course Since MoEF Doesn’t Want To Condone Violations

Khap bars girls from wearing jeans | Depts pass the buck, 4 inquiries start

Tax amnesty scheme to get at black money? | Fresh veggies see price drop

Activist ends fast after state gives in to education demand | Battling exam stress

Fearing sack, Anil verma wants to patch up | 18-yr-old gets HC nod to live with married man

Govt plans to sack corrupt officers | Govinda lets go of his fee

Aishwarya recommends Katrina | T-Series sues CWG committee

PM shuffles same old pack | Old is gold!

Illegal huts fall faster| Plunder, not tax evasion, SC tells govt

Gang steals 4.5cr diamonds from bank locker, busted |School principal questioned

Sherlock of old to return, tackle modern crimes | Taseer effect: Pak ready to hire US guards for Zardari

BMC, state at war; power be damned |‘Bigger fish involved’

Why did Shazahn Padamsee learn salsa? |‘Underage’ youth held for bag snatching

Michael Douglas wants to ‘comeback’ to India |Fighting against all odds!

Sanju misses his twins |INDIA CAN DO IT AGAIN

‘Forget 2010, let’s dance!’ | Jhatka mila!

No regrets about Murder:Mallika Sherawat| Gritty reality unleashed

Kangna takes Maddy for a ride | CAUTION IS THE MANTRA

INDIA TAKE ON HISTORY | Shruti Haasan goes gypsy

What’s cooking Sara? | Maneka’s date with Mumbai

Pooja Bedi may follow Twinkle and Sussanne |Ajay Devgn gets security!

Love’s all around |Hrithik moved to tears

Emraan Hashmi passes on the torch |It’s divine intervention!

Last but not least: Joke for the month
From a Economist Prime Minister:
For the first time in the history of mankind "Need", "Comfort" and "Luxury" are sold at the same price in India!
Onions Rs. 65, Petrol Rs. 65 and Beer Rs. 65!

Mobile Number Portability (MNP) in 6 easy steps

2011-01-20T09:06:00.001+05:30

mobile number portability (MNP) is here, telecom consumers now have the choice of switching their operator (of course,after 3 years as per Indian Stretchable Time)without having to change their mobile number.

MNP is available to all(postpaid and prepaid) customers and as well as GSM & CDMA service.

The only restriction is that you can change your operator without changing your number only within your current service area. Which means subscribers cannot take their Delhi number to an operator in Mumbai. They can only change their operator within Delhi.

The cost of porting a number to a new operator is Rs 19(Non-Refundable), with the maximum porting time capped at 7 working days by telecom regulator Trai except in Jammu and Kashmir, Assam and North East service areas, where it will be 15 working days.

But, consumers will have to remain with the new operator for minimum of three months before moving on to next operator (its not Live-in relationship or changing a new girlfriend every friday, remember they have to earn profit!).

How to do mobile number portability in six quick easy steps:

Step 1
Send an SMS to 1900 in following format: PORT "<"your mobile number ">" to 1900 - eg SMS PORT 98XXXXXXXX to 1900

Step 2
You will get an SMS reply that contains a unique porting code:
After sending SMS to 1900, you will receive UPC (Unique Porting Code) as a SMS from 1901 giving 8 digit alpha-numeric Unique Porting Code (UPC) and UPC expiry date in MM/DD/YYYY format

Step 3
SMS to the preferred operator quoting the unique code. This code is valid only for a few days, and one must apply again if it expires.

Step 4
Your existing operator will check with new operator & if there are no dues, then approval will be given for porting.

Step 5
You will get an SMS on the time and date when porting will take place. Rules mandate that process be completed within 4 days of applying.

Step 6
After porting is complete, wait for an SMS from your new operator confirming the switch. Your phone may be dead for about 2 hours when the porting takes place.

after this, u have to Submit Address & Id proof documents, self-attested photo and last bill copy of postpaid connection (if applicable) along-with filled MNP form and Customer Agreement Form to the New Operator.

Then now Move On with new Operator and Enjoy till you are fed up with him.
hoping for happy ending.

Know your Risk - Caveat Traders

2011-01-16T19:25:00.000+05:30

Rajeev says try to become a better trader in a single scrip of your choice each day and enjoy the progress you make.

Concentrate on improving your trading skills, rather than focusing amount of profit or losses in your trading.Dont feel good about a Profitable trade when you have done what you were supposed to do.Don't get too depressed about the losing trades.Please Don't blame the market or your broker or jaggu, if u lose after hearing him.Losses are an opportunity to focus on whatever problem occurred during the trade.

To succeed in trading, you must learn to perceive opportunity where most others see none.

Your ego can make you bankrupt/broke. a profitable trade creates powerful emotions that distort reality. The more you do profitable trade, the better you feel, and your ego takes over. The joy of winning is what gamblers seek. A gambler will lose as many times as necessary just for the thrill of winning once.

Individual risk tolerance and preferred trading timeframe make each trader unique. Select a trading methodology that reflects your preferred timeframe and risk tolerance.

The market is an amalgamation of the mindset of all trading (bulls,bears,sheeps,deer,pigs and all others) participants. The daily tug-of-war between the bulls and the bears reveals what they are thinking on a daily basis.Never buy just because the price is low or sell just because the price is high.Never average a losing trade.

Traders need to listen to the market,u need to pay attention to trading methods,charts and the market. The trader's challenge is this: Learn who you actually are and then consistently and consciously develop the qualities that allow you to trade well.

As traders, the more we can detach ourselves from the emotions of hope, greed and fear, the better our chances for trading success.

The market has far more patience than the majority of traders. There is an old saying that the market will do whatever it takes to drive the largest amount of traders crazy. Trends can persist as long as there are traders fighting them. Don't fight the market/trendn.Remember jaggu always says, the markets is always right.

a Simple Trading system for Beginners:
A Trading system is a defined set of rules that trigger entries and exits in a particular market.

Best example of a simple trading system is called an "Opening Range Breakout" (also called ORB in geek),which is wait with hands on head until a stock or index has opened for the day and after the first 30 minutes of trading, if the price breaks above or breaks down below that 30 minute range, the "system' would trigger a buy order if breaking above and a sell/short order if breaking below.

2011-01-14T18:00:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Sibal rips into CAG, calls its 2G report ‘utterly erroneous’ | An old hand at blaming victims

Youth kills a friend with bamboo stick | Wholesalers in Vashi get surprise visit from I-T dept

Sanjay is on a diet again | Lucknow cooks for Imran

India to miss 2045 population target | BABY BOOM IN HOLLYWOOD

Manisha Koirala spotted in Mumbai | Govinda loses eight kilos.

Sunny leaves phone on flight | Costly Swiss watches found in AI plane toilet

Biggest Lok Adalat to be held on Feb 6 | Wedding gift thieves caught

Things are looking up for Thane mental institute | Revamp Planned So Families Can Stay With Patients

Iran bans tight jeans, tattoos at some univs | WikiLeaks to rush release of leaked cables

Let’s swap moms! Priyanka stays out, Deepika moves in... | Strings attached!

Amrita roots for gender equality |The dog fight!

Just married! | 2 get life for neighbour’s murder

Karwar beach turns no-go area |‘Corruption thrives as babus, netas collude’

Vivek Oberoi, Akshay Oberoi no love lost | An inspiration to the farmers

Joke of the Month:-
Due to intense volatility, Nifty is to be included in the T2T segment from Monday

2011-01-07T12:17:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Woman dies after falling into open drain | CBI grills Kalmadi for nine hours

Kumble had asked Gujarat CM for Asiatic lions | Meanwhile Kalmadi and Raja are questioned by CBI in Delhi...

Bus plunges into gorge, 22 killed | Left presents ‘proof’ of Trinamool-Maoist nexus

SC heat on enemy property law | That’s twice as hot...Talking about the future | FACT TO FICTION, TADKA LAGA KE!

Guard guns down Pak Punjab governor | Sore Alagiri threatens to quit Centre

Two of Sanjay Dutt’s properties attached | Dance bars back in action in Mira Road, Bhayander

Cop flees after being accused of abetting suicide | City Limo chief will spend a year in jail: ED

Theft at Dhoni's residence in Jharkhand, FIR lodged | Passengers ransack Howrah station

INDIA DRAW BLOOD | All set for the great cricket bazaar

Cop bashed up in a bar brawl over film songs | Ratnakar Gaikwad wants aam aadmi-babu link

After chilly spell, mercury shoots up | Amul raises milk price by 2 per litre

Mallika's take on women | Richard Gere looking to return to India

Look who’s back! | Karan Johar planning K3G sequel?

Girls Aloud star Nadine Coyle haunted by failed adoption bid | I’M NOT DEAD, SAYS ADAM SANDLER

Cobra in station sends police in a tizzy | Cops take cops for a six-hour ride

Shah Rukh Khan wishes‘Let there be love...’| And Rani will be a winner...

What’s in a name? Ask Bus, Glucose or Coffee! | Karuna snubs PM, prefers to meet a poet

Katrina Kaif puts her thinking cap on | Aarti stays home!

Taking Hollywood by storm | Mallika planning big bash

Deepal attacked, abused on busy Mumbai street! | ‘Fans believe I can beat up 100 people’rants Sunny Deol| SRK-Sallu collision averted!

The Big Fat B’wood Wedding! | Chale, Copenhagen?

Wanna eat Ash?| Priyanka’s gang just got bigger

Three’s not a crowd! Rahman to dine with Pussycat Nicole | Salman’s ready

Anu Malik’s on a charity drive | SRK gives Aamir a run for his Oscar

Age no bar here... | A new year gift... | Rani’s here, where’s Adi?

Peter Andre has a new girlfriend! | Let it rain, says Carlos Santana

with immediate effect,Finance Men-in-istry has announced New Bhai Accounting terminology :
1 lakh= Peti
1Crore= Khoka,
10Crore= Q
100Crore= Reddy Bros
500Crore= Koda.
1,000Crore= Radia.
10,000 Crore= Kalmadi
100,000 Crore= Raja

2010-12-28T13:04:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Haryana labourer is ‘first-time dad’ at 94 |Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner gets engaged to a Playmate again|Shares of Viagra-Maker Pfizer hits upper circuit,gains 100% in a day.

Accused Tried To Escape Wearing Burqa, But Footwear Gave Him Away |Terrified wives grin and bear the ‘ordeal’

Cong, NCP ‘fish’ for sons of the soil |All drama, few playgrounds

Kids can wait, says Kylie Minogue|KJo’s on top of the world!

Sanju’s going to gamble |...meanwhile Baba not invited by nephew!

Bandra watering hole reopens in festive week |‘Pubs, hotels also make neighbourhoods secure’

BMC cracks down on illegal hawkers, collects 6 Lakh fine |Weight of fruits led to tree fall

Man waits 13 years to shoot at ex-boss |Thief’s plan runs out of gas in Chembur

The Business of Bollywood |Jovial Arun spotted partying in Mumbai!

Abhi takes care of Ash’s mother | Why so shy, Prateik?

2010-12-23T08:58:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Vegetable prices hit tearful heights | Police tighten security around Taj, Gateway

Missing strays have activists worried | Radia may soon be questioned again by CBI

Who’s crying, who’s laughing to the bank?| CBI questions Radia at her farmhouse

Great Indian Bustards in peril, count just 300 | No ideal bachelor for Rani!

No onion distribution through ration shops | Principals to fine cigarette sellers

Party, but don’t drink & drive: Cops to revellers | Can an old problem be solved now?

Burglars used bamboo pole to fish out wallets | CCTV captures two boys pinching bag at wedding

Advocate’s car stolen from Bandra court | Club members move HC again

Onion on mind, diesel price hike put off | Cong women come to blows at Sonia’s house

Farah Khan’s surprise element! | Zarine’s khan getting sexier

Prithviraj Chavan leaves no room for wastefulness |‘Parental support vital during counselling

Surgical error adds to stray dog’s woes | Bappi notice to film producer for poking fun at him

It’s over! | Hrithik shuns heroines at Goa anniv bash... |...But shares roof with Salman !!!

What is Mallika’s new mission?| Do you want a partner?

New Fail-Safe Trade Indicator by jaggu

2010-12-17T12:58:00.002+05:30

about
Fail Safe indicators are made from stolid Moving Averages,which are more reliable than other lagging and leading indicators,since they follow market trend.

this 3 step simple & easy to use indicator is proven with tried and tested in various bull and bear markets with excellent results comparable to almost positional trade fail safe by jaggu.

Features:
Name fail safe comes from fact that,this indicator has to be updated daily and manually,free from any technical problem..so there is less chance of failing/or giving wrong trend.

this indicator is used as Reliable End of Day (EOD) indicator, since it depends basically on Open-High-Low-Close values.

this indicator is used for positional trade in trending market,in addition with intraday trades (with separate real time file for intraday trading also available)

How to use this Excel Sheet indicator:

In this,there are 3 separate indicators:

SL = this one gives the stoploss for your long or short position,

Day/Intraday trend= this indicator tells which is the best position for intraday trading

Positional trend= this indicator tells u whether the market is in down trend or uptrend.

Example Of Nifty (NSE 50) from 2008 onwards till dec 16-2010

Veena Malik 'threat' to Islam, say Pakistani religious leaders

2010-12-16T10:50:00.001+05:30

Pakistani actress Veena Malik may be upping the TRPs by being part of the 'Bigg Boss' household in India, but in her country she is being seen as a 'threat' to Islam.

Veena was accused of disrespecting Islam by behaving irresponsibly in India on public television.

Most Pakistanis have reacted strongly to the Mufti's reaction, contending that Veena is not an official representative of Pakistan and that she was in India to boost her lagging career and guess wat u can think of. "She certainly did not enter the show as a Muslim contender. She was chosen for the show as a Pakistani celebrity (if you may) who became popular recently for playing an active role in making the cricket scandal further scandalous," posted.

a "Undisclosed" reader(pic above), had an interesting take on the cleric's objections: "I'm surprised at the fact that this Maulvi could have time to watch TV and analyze her performance on 'Bigg Boss'...

when jaggu asked Bigg Boss for his reaction to this development,he replied "well Bigg Boss chahte hain ki aap sabhi bashinde Bigg boss dekhein aur veena ko SMS dwara vote dein."

Meanwhile,Bigg Boss has caught Veena Malik reading Non-Bigg Boss related Book in toilet.

when asked about maulvi reaction,veena has threatened to join Osho's ashram and participate in the "Osho's spiritual class".

jaggu's on veena malik trail has obtained certain Objectionable pics with his spy camera:

Delhi sitting on 100 bombs,many live!

2010-12-11T10:06:00.002+05:30

Delhi sitting on 100 bombs,many live,so Delhi citizens want to dispose them in Parliament House, due to lack of empty spaces.

According to reports,Delhi is literally sitting on a bomb. Actually, around 100 of them. They are sand-bagged at the inland container depot (ICD) in Tughlakabad for six years now. What's worse, no one except the Army knows how many bombs are live. And it's not sharing the information, claim officials.

some citizens are very happy abt reports have suggested the army command try to dispose them off in Parliament House itself in front of & with the concerned authorities (Meaning elected members). since the area is useless to the common man and it is also causing heavy loss on the taxpayer.

some citizens (esp.housewives) who are not so happy abt rising prices and inflation said take these bombs to loksabha asked them to them sit over the bombs and accumulate their salaries and perks and taxpayers money and they requested the army to give the fuse button installed in subji mandi area.

When contacted, DCP (southeast) O P Mishra said that it was "an old problem"(of course,wat can one say for 75-80 years parliamentarians). "All efforts are on to find an area where the Army can dispose of these shells," he told.

Pakistan want China to host cricket matches on its behalf!

2010-12-04T10:01:00.001+05:30

PCB (Pakistan Cricket Board) is on the verge of bankruptcy, so Pakistan want China to host cricket matches on its behalf,so tat atleast it can earn fake American Dollars as tuition fees & Loyalty bonus.

In his letter, Miandad praised China saying cricket has a bright future in the country. He suggested that Pakistan should help China to establish cricket infrastructure and new stadium, besides mentoring Chinese players in Spot Fixing, Dressing Room Fights, Pub (Beer Bar & Dance Bar) Brawls and Ball tampering methods.

He also suggested sending a group of former Players (like Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamir, Mohammad Asif Shoaib Malik, Kamran Akmal and Danish Kaneria for on-field and dressing room games, with of course Veena malik for off-field & After games!) as a coaching team to China to train the Chinese youth.

since most of these Pak players are suspended for "Non-Cricket Crimes (NCC)" by ICC, Pak wants China to provide players for their cricket team.so chinese authorities have selected these name:

Names in any order u like,
Phak Yu (Captain),
Yu Mi Ding
Su Yu
Su Mi
Pi On Yu (Vice-Captain)
Hai Yu Ding
Yu Stin Ki Pu
No Pah King (Wicket-Keeper)
Wai Yu So Tan!

so if China wants to make it to the Elite Premier League (EPL!), it has to play against world cup champs USA, former world champs like Canada, Scotland, Ireland, Afghanistan, Mongolia, Bermuda, etc.

Surprisingly, many Chinese Noodles companies have pledged to sponsor the series.

India in return will entertain their Chinese request,by sending Only J&K and Arunachal Pradesh players.

Believe it or not!

2010-12-02T10:25:00.002+05:30

In the last five years, eight IITians have committed suicide — five of them hanged themselves in their hostel rooms.

The four-member team at IIT-Kanpur, probing the suicide of Civil Engineering student Madhuri Sale, has come with a plan to help prevent suicides in hostels:

A source told jaggu: “We have a strong reason to recommend this plan in the institute hostels,so we can at least remove all options with permutations and combinations for students who are depressed due to some reasons or the other.”

---------
Republic of Khao on Monday offered Laluji, the RJD founder who has enraged Biharis by accumulating masses of cow fodder, residency with no questions asked.

"We are ready to give him residence in Republic of Khao, with no problems and no conditions," Deputy Foreign Minister Sabko Khiloa told jaggu."We are going to invite him to come to Khao so he can freely accumulate fodder not just of cow but in a variety of domestic animals." he said.

Sabko Khiloa said even though Republic of Khao's policy was not to meddle in the internal affairs of other countries, it was "concerned" by the fodder accumulation because it involved "Domesticated animals and PETA (Pamelaji)."

------
Italian film director and master of comedy Mario Monicelli, 95, committed suicide Monday by throwing himself out of a hospital window, jaggu asks what was the hurry?

Problem of Plenty

2010-11-30T08:48:00.000+05:30

Mukesh Ambani in his 27 storeyed home......

Mukeshbhai gets up from his bed room on 15th floor, takes a swim in the swimming pool on 17th floor, has breakfast on the 19th floor, dresses up for office on 14th floor, collects his files and office bag from his personal office on 21st floor, wishes bye to Nitaben on 16th floor, says ‘see you’to his children on 13th floor, and goes down on 3rd floor to self drive his 2.5 crore Mercedes to office, but then, he finds out that he has forgotten the car keys upstairs.

But on which floor?
15th, 17th, 19th, 14th, 21st, 16th or 13th ?
He phones all his servants, cooks,maids, secretaries, pool attendants, gym trainers, lift attendantsetc. on all the floors. There is a hectic search and lot of running around on all the floors, but the key is not traceable .

Fed up, after half an hour of frantic search, Mukeshbhai leaves in a huff in a chauffeur driven Ikon car.
At 3.30 P.M. late in the afternoon it is discovered that 4 days back , a temporary replacement maid had washed Mukeshbhai's pant and hung it to dry on a string in the balcony of 16th floor, with car keys in the pant pocket.

This was detected because of Nitaben's habit of checking clothes given for ironing personally.
Meanwhile, after 3 days of the incident, Nitaben with all irritation writ large on her face, complained to Mukeshbhai asking him where he was roaming till 3 A.M. last night …

Mukesh replied that he was at home all night.
"Then why did the helicopter land in the terrace at 3 A.M? I was so much worried…I could not sleep whole night," quizzed Nitaben.
"Oh That helicopter….That helicopter came from Germany , sent by Mercedes people to deliver the duplicate car key".......mumbled Mukesh.

Moral of the story : Stay in 1 BHK / 2 BHK flat only. They are Least-Problem Home

In Not so distant future

2010-11-27T09:11:00.003+05:30

From unknown sources,CEBI has approved a recommendation whereby indian investors will be happy and Indian traders have to take jal-samadhi.the recommendation is That all stock prices will be converted into 4 decimal figures instead of present 2 decimal.

for eg:
Scrip .........................LTP ..................% Change
JPASSOCIAT ...........0.9860 .............-0.0850
SUZLON ..................0.4300 ..............-0.0165
HCC .......................0.0400 ..............+0.0004

this is to facilitate less pain for investors during downturn and more headache for traders during rally,since loss or profits will be in decimals terms.

Pranav babu says this change is for betterment of investor community and West bengal !!!.

Mamata(Not kulkarni re!) says west bengal will be top world class investor and announced 4 weekdays of west Bengal bandh in support of the recommendation.

2010-11-25T09:05:00.001+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Breaking News, after losing her seat, Rabri devi is gonna enter Bigg boss 4 house,to make up her loss of electoral deposit!!

Unconfirmed sources, Lalu Prasad Yadav has applied for Bihar Chief ministership under Minority Quota (RJD's 25 seats against JDU's 206).

Bihars Latest UnEmployment figures, total 2 unemployed (Rabri devi and lalooji).

I look forward to opposition's cooperation: Nitish , but seriously where's Opposition??

Nitish sweeps Bihar; washout for Lalu..err Lalu in Dhobi ghat???

We have to start from scratch in Bihar: Sonia , jaggu asks from which part to start, soniaji???

2010-11-24T09:37:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

‘Khana milta hai? Koi takleef toh nahin hai? | Pizza, biryani help police bust boy gang

Student shouldn’t pay for varsity’s fault in evaluation: High court | ‘Teaching culture has to change’

Autorickshaw driver held for kidnapping housewife | MNS chief Raj Thackeray warns Sharmila Tagore!

SC: Can states limit maintenance to wives? | DD, AIR go blank as staff strikes work

Was this a marriage or re-union party? | ALL BAD MEN HERE!

Salem blames jailers for assault by Dossa | CCTV lands 2 jewel thieves in a soup

Japan’s grand old girl to quit in 2011 | PERFECT BEGINNING

Viewers ko Insaaf at last

2010-11-17T15:25:00.000+05:30

In a surprising development,Media BIG Boss(I&B ministry) has cracked down on Bigboss and rakhi ka insaaf reality show saying " NOT Suitable for Universal Viewing"

After hearing this development, rakhi sawant has taken to street saying "rakhi ko insaaf chahiye",

and veena malik is very excited since big boss will actually shown after 11.pm ..late night hour(after dark) footages ka chance bhai :)

meanwhile dolly bindra has commented saying BAN LOK SABHA instead.

meanwhile,torture of different kind for viewers, colors tv will be showing footage as given below from 9.pm. to 11.pm

Lost in Translation!!

2010-10-30T09:11:00.002+05:30

In another embarrassing situation, China denies visa to AP delegation

In a surprising move, China has denied visa to a top-level team from A.P (Andhra Pradesh) led by industries minister Kanna Lakshminarayana. The Chinese have consistently refused visas to residents of A.P (Arunachal Pradesh), claiming the state is part of China.

Changing its stand on the Telangana issue, the TSRS party has now come out openly in support of the china,TSRS leaders said, a lot of injustice has been done to the Telangana region during the Congress rule.

I.M.No Ready (TSRS) said they would be better under chinki rule than Kaungress rule

State officials were surprised and said it may be due to Lack of Vision and Limited Knowledge of English on part of Chinese people!

Think before u act!!!

2010-10-29T07:52:00.000+05:30

In Shocking development:
Attempt to kidnap Tamil film actress Namitha was foiled in Tiruchirapalli in Tamil Nadu.

Namitha reached Tiruchy on Monday by plane to take part in a function at Karur, around 330 km from here. She was to travel to Karur by road.

At the Trichy airport, a man identified introduced himself as the driver arranged by the function organisers.Believing him, she boarded the car which sped away.

Seeing this, the real driver informed the organisers, who started chasing the speeding car.

The hot pursuit came to an end when the kidnapper's car was overtaken and brought to a halt.

Artist's Rendering of kidnapper's car:

Artist's Rendering of Organisers vehicle

A subdued kidnapper told police that he was a fan of Namitha...

Moral of the story: Good lesson learnt,.... Next time he should either take a powerful Volvo truck or opt for a lighter victim.

GAME's OVER KALMADIji

2010-10-20T09:02:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

PM invited me but I was busy: Kalmadi|Nobody can stand a single man's happiness: Salman

Poor performance at CWG due to crowd's abusive behaviour: Pak hockey captain ...atleast u had people watching..ask other athletes

UAE court says okay to wife-beating | We shall overcome, says Preity Zinta

Locker stolen from Raj Thackeray's office | Now Shiv Sena demands ban on burqa...aye aye captain

Some Serious food for thought:

Official CWG 2010 Comedian

2010-10-05T15:16:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

CWG: Suresh Kalmadi thanked Princess Diana for being at the opening ceremony...He should seriously consider taking some rest now..permanently.

Buddha, Didi call on PM to complain against each other..now PM is playing mother to fighting kids| More scholarships for research students

Hunters in real life, shooters at the Games..salmanbhai,r u listening,still there's a chance to enter CWG arena!!

No birthday treat for Salem as cops say no cake in jail| Ayodhya: Nirmohi Akhara ready for talks

ENTER THE GOLDEN BOYS | Bunty runs out of luck on TV |Govt throws rule book at pesky librarian

Super-rich investors buy gold by tonne | Revamped zoo will not house its 8 crocodiles!!

George Michael makes a friend in jail | Vidya seeks vendetta

Vivek helps a homeless woman | Rishi-Neetu are back again

GET SET GO !!!...WAIT STILL MEN AT WORK!!!

2010-10-04T13:14:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Kalmadiji, Where was the Games mascot Shera during Opening Ceremony ?

Breaking news...shera has been found...looks like he hasn't been fed for past several years!!!

IOC BOSS OFFERS MORE HOPE | Mallika's busy inviting snake charmers

Archers find a new enemy: wind | GAMES. PEOPLE. PLAY.

Comeback man Musharraf calls Nawaz Sharif 'brainless' | No takers for Musharraf?

Gujarat matchmaker to help Mumbai girls find soulmates | The smiles are back and India’s ready

Guj sailor showed Vasco da Gama way to India? | Find missing car keys with your mobile.

Ash: I don't know how many hits I have ...neither we do!!

Call John tonight! | Two far for comfort

Shah Rukh to host Akon at Mannat | Big B wants to get slimmer! ..wat abt Ash, Bachchan Sahab !!

Ranbir-Priyanka cast their spell | INDIA’S GOALIE MAY BE INVISIBLE

Baap re baap! | Ghar ki khichdi for Shah Rukh

University to get new gate | Can a CM get luckier with a name change?

GA'MESS' DRESS REHEARSAL

2010-10-02T13:45:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Now, Kalmadi talks about Olympics| ‘After going through madness, we don’t want anything but peace’ says Citizens

Another cobra caught inside Games Village...but Kalmadi still untraceable!!

Osama talks climate, floods in tape...is he talking abt Delhi's CWG?

Citizens happy,headache’s over,CWG starts tomorrow...so no more Kalmadi's

Emraan:Meri awaaz suno | Mumbaikars open hearts and pockets

more to come,will update soon...

Head"lies" for 29 & 30-sept 2010

2010-09-30T10:22:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Monkey gives Badlapur locals sleepless nights | Vasai villagers to gift CM Re.1 coins in protest

Karzai weeps over the state of his country | Praful Patel eyes diplomatic passport

UK bribes people into eating veggies | C’wealth volunteers go missing

UNEASY TIMES | After $1M lottery win, US man wins $2M

These SA women can wrestle with men! | Lonesome Tiger lost in the woods

Kalmadi is a 'liar': Former sports minister Aiyar | Great Indian Bustard sighted in Solapur after 20 years.

more to come,will update soon...

Tuesday GA'MESS

2010-09-28T11:30:00.003+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Cleaning up the village is not my Job says Kalmadi...after cleaning the state treasury

Hang me if I am found guilty after games: Kalmadi ...as u wish.

Nuclear-armed Pak becomes chair of IAEA board | thief becomes state treasurer

No golmaal here... Producer’s wife seeks Rs 3 lakh per month maintenance | HC takes stock of noise at Mira Rd

Teen robbed of 40K in Goregaon ...surely inflation has caught up with youngsters

Diesel don ‘falls ill’, admitted to JJ hosp |‘Check theft of infants from hosps’ | BMC to start anti-malaria drive today

updated at 11.55 a.m.

CWG Awards
Best/Worst Director : S.Kalmadi
Best/Worst Actor : S.Kalmadi
Best/Worst Actress : S.Dixit
Best/Worst Supporting Actor : M.S.Gill
Best/Worst Supporting Actress: Madamji(mute spectator)
Best/Worst Performance in a Negative Role : Lalit Bhanot
Best/Worst Performance in a Comic Role : M.S.Gill
Best/Worst Male Debut: Lalit Bhanot
Best/Worst Music Director: A.R.Rehman
Best/Worst Male Playback Singer: S.Kalmadi(ALL is WELL)
Best/Worst Female Playback Singer: S.Dixit(ALL is WELL)

Critics' Awards
Critics Award Best Performance : S.Kalmadi(Hang me if I am found guilty)

Special Awards
Lifetime Achievement: S.Dixit(Do Nothing for Common man)
Special Performance Award: M.S.Gill (acting Deaf and Dumb in front of News Camera)

Best/ Worst Scene of the Year: S.Kalmadi,S.Dixit,M.S.Gill at Village (3 idiots)

Technical Awards
Best/Worst Action : Foot over bridge collapse
Best/Worst Art Direction : Paan stained corridor and toilets at the village
Best/Worst Background Score : ALL IS WELL
Best/Worst Choreography : S.Kalmadi (showing Demo flats to news camera)
Best/Worst Story : CWG Games bid
Best/Worst Screenplay: Corrupt babus
Best/Worst Dialogue : "Games Village is world class"
Best/Worst Sound Recording : Foot over Bridge collapse, falling False ceiling's and s(t)inking floors
Best/Worst Special Effects : PWD (Super Structures fall down in seconds)

updated at 2.30.pm.
Latest NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the Stadium collapsed!!!

Compromise formula: Ayodhya temple will be built by S.Kalmadi & Co,AIMPLB very Happy,RSS Shocked and Shaken.

Suresh Kalmadi becomes Suresh Kabaadi(scrap dealer) after CWG games.

more to come,will update soon...

Monday GA'MESS BluES

2010-09-27T09:59:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL? .. must be kalmadi with a candle at the other end

Delhi Zoo organizes CWG village tour for its inmates to showcase the living conditions for world class guests.

Indian cuisine - a big hit with CWG visitors ..becoz Politicians(Sk,Sd,MSG) are not involved in cooking that's why its a big hit.

more to come,will update soon...

SUNDAY GA'MESS

2010-09-26T10:49:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Akshay’s big gamble | Knockout blow: Boxer’s bed collapses

Pawar takes a dig at Kalmadi, calls CWG a joke.. |‘We can’t be buffoons all the time’ | Finally, Kalmadi owns up failure

I got Village late, says Kalmadi | Salem’s aide attacked in jail

Experience the joy of giving this week | Queen ‘sought’ poverty fund to heat palace

Chinese hack UPSC website ..now babu-aspirants have to learn chinese to pass the exam

In Thailand,husbands are being imported | New police helpline for Navi Mumbai citizens

Oliver Stone coming to Mumbai! |12-yr-old bites abductor, flees

Lalu launches son Tejaswi in politics| Yamuna rises to 32-yr high

from Latest unknown jaggu's sources here are LATEST FULL FORM for indian mkts

BSE = Business Se Exit
NSE = Nikkama(Umemployed/Useless) Since Entry
FnO = Failure & Outcaste
Nifty = No Income For The Year
FII's = Fraud International Investors
DII's = Dongi Indian Investors
BTST = Buy Today Suicide Tomorrow
Trade= Loss anyways,Your Broker Richer

updated at 5:30pm
Some Must Read books for thought
In Bad Books by S.Kalmadi
Not for Common man,but for ConMan by S.Dixit
Fish Soup by M.S.Gill
(interesting all people have "S" in/as their name ????, Madamji/Singhji are u listening)

South African guests have found a snake in their apartment in CWG Village,but indians are worried abt Anaconda named Kalmadi,if found please return it to CWG village Drains.

more to come.will update soon...

GA'MESS MADNESS

2010-09-25T12:34:00.001+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

LaTeSt UpDaTE

'India bribed 72 nations to get Delhi CWG'..wow..Oh My Tommy,.i dint knew there were so many countries

Kalmadi ka intazar 72 mulko ki athletes kar rahi hai..Kalmadi Ko Samjhana Mushkil Hi Nahi Namunkin Hai

Gen Mushraff has arrived at CWG village, in order to find mates for his dogs

Pak team has arrived at village declaring 2 tonnes of dog food as their practice equipment

Prithvi-II fails to take off in user's trial | Suresh kalmadi goes missing!

Ramesh, rlys trade charges over Bengal jumbo deaths | Chaos hitting India’s image, says Moody’s

more to come.will update soon...

CORRUPT WEALTH GAMES aka CWG

2010-09-24T10:33:00.005+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

‘There were problems... we’ve sorted them out’ says Suresh Kalmadi...Dabangg song aptly fits here " India hua Badnaam, Kalmadi Tere liye"

DEAR CWG VISITORS PLEASE NOTE THESE INVISIBLE INSTRUCTIONS:

1. WELCOME TO CORRUPT WEALTH GAMES aka CWG

2. STRAY DOGS WILL ACCOMPANY YOU TILL THE ROOMS,THEY ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AS BED-PARTNERS, IF U NEED SO, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THEM AS U PLEASE.

3. PLEASE BRING PERFUMES, SCENTS TO AVOID STINKING BATHROOMS...PLEASE USE SCUBA DIVING GEAR DURING THE STAY.

4. MIND YOUR HEAD & BODY SINCE FOOT OVER BRIDGE, FALSE CEILINGS, BUILDINGS MAY COLLAPSE ANY TIME..ALWAYS USE HELMET DURING THE STAY..BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

5. YOU HAVE TO BRING BROOMSTICK, OTHER CLEANING EQUIPMENT & NEW BED FOR BETTER STAY.

6. PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO BRING MOSQUITO NET OR LIQUIDS TO AVOID DENGUE, MALARIA ETC..

7. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SAFETY.

8. WE HOPE YOUR STAY WILL BE MEMORABLE SINCE WE HAVE SPENT 80000 CRORES ( EIGHTY THOUSAND CRORES) FOR THE ABOVE SAID FACILITIES.

9. FOR ANY ASSISTANT PLEASE CONTACT SHIELA.

YOURS CORRUPT WEALTH GAMES COMMITTEE
sd/- KALLU MAMA,SHIELA AUNTY,FISHY GILL

Love thy neighbour
Pakistan defence budget increased by Rs110 billion,due to Urdu typographical error.

Pakistan declares unconditional support for Commonwealth Games,“The show must go on,” says Pakistani foreign minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi at UN assembly,while Scotland has threatened to pull out of the games because the venues were dirty (he laughs for 1 hour 30 seconds)and then says “Indians were trying to prove that our boys were dirty!”

If dogs could stay in that CWG village then humans too,remember, dog was sent to the moon before humans went there,did we do anything wrong,asks Kallu mama....

Breaking news
Tata Docomo has launched the CWG joke service at 1 paise per day, but customers say they have to climb telecom towers and electric poles, sit for a few hours to 'collect' these messages.

News Headlines Remixed dated 22 -Sep-2010

2010-09-22T10:00:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

CWG shocker: stray dog found on athlete bed | Menakaji,see how Shiela aunty is very kind to four legged ones,she built a brand new city only for them.

Games Village is filthy, says CEO of CGF ... After all,Shelia aunty says Delhi is a world class city and its time that all the things of the world will showup!

Close shave for min as catamaran catches fire ..looks like he is Fiery minister

Kate Winslet in love again | CHERYL COLE CALLS UP HER DOGS!

News Headlines Remixed dated 20 & 21 -Sep-2010

2010-09-21T09:47:00.001+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

House to discuss school fee hike | Drunk bizman hits sweeper in Juhu ..maybe bizman needs some teaching!!

‘In US, we are losing out on youngsters’ | Pandals yet to find pothole fixers

‘Fake’ Pujari held for extortion | Goon’s bid to run from cops land him in hosp ...thank "God" dear

Terror email has CM, Patil working overtime ...atleast they are working now!!

Only PM, Prince Charles can take car to CWG venue ...rest of you please take DTC 'Blue'Line!

I’m no seasonal flower: Mamata | Honour suicides in TN | Flood situation worsens in UP, Bihar

UK wary of terrorists freed from prisons | Immigrants take kabbadi to New York

I NEVER SAID THAT! says PCB chairman Ijaz Butt...he has become butt of all jokes

Payal and Rahul still close? | Kangna’s lips are sealed

Vivek gets booked | Shilpa Shetty decoration

Man tries to abduct 2 kids from temple, held | Admissions Open January 2011 says IIIT

BJP opposes Uma’s return to party | Tribunal offers relief to missing jawan’s wife

UK MP tells jobless British graduates to work in India | Search for 13 from ‘cult-like’ sect waiting to meet Jesus...Rakhi sawant are u listening!

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 19 -Sep-2010

2010-09-19T11:37:00.001+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Dabangg song rubs Zandu balm makers the wrong way | Our commitment is to keep mumbai energized...Tata power

BMC will do what state govt can’t, says Uddhav | BMC will train citizens to clear out fest trash

Stone-pelters’ saga: Poor kids behind bars, the rich bail out | Many occassions,One Location..we do it all..county club!!

Kids sans dad became easy prey for accused | Sahara Art & Crafts Shoping Festival 2010

Pope to UK: Deeply sorry, ashamed of child s*x abuse | 5 Talibanis ask Swat residents for forgiveness

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 17& 18 -Sep-2010

2010-09-18T09:27:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Did bookie try to lure Irfan? | Unknown caller alerted Raveena

Sacked airhostess wins 20-yr battle against AI | Got itchy eyes? Stay at home, says BMC

ROYAL FEAST FOR REDBACKS | SAMBA ON THE MENU

Do I look like a bird, asks Rahul | Lovebirds’ suicide pact fails, cops book them

Michelle thinks life as first lady is hell: Bruni | ‘Made in America’ goods for US House

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 16-Sep-2010

2010-09-16T10:00:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Honey you eat may be full of antibiotics | Fisherfolk claim damages

Loyalty bonus for Gurgaon maid: 1 cr | Hum Tum Ek Ghar Mein Bandh Ho...

Woman held for stealing purse from temple |‘Other woman’ spared under 498A

Mallika’s not the only one ‘Hiss’ing | BUSINESS AS USUAL

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 13-Sep-2010

2010-09-13T09:48:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

29 players fixed IPL-2, says report | Venom deaths up, antidote lacks sting

Salman’s 26/11 remarks on Pak TV raise a storm | Mob attacks minister’s house in J&K

Salman’s ‘Dabangg’ opens with a big bang | Half-built subway at Kurla may may be opened to tackle crowd

Shabana loves Rani | No Fourplay for Sherlyn
Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 11-Sep-2010

2010-09-12T10:09:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Sweet shops prepare a feast for the Lord | BSF jawans, cops attack tribal village

Britney says she is ‘white trash’ | Citizens launch Facebook war against BMC

Impossible made possible! | Shilpa Shetty, hubby get threat from Pujari

What’s cooking between Aditya and Sabah Galadari? | ‘An Indian player may be the next target’

Hulk Hogan ready to wed | Megan Fox: People don’t believe I’m married! ...we dont believe u either

Olivia Palermo wants to ‘try it all’ | It’s raining woes on stray cats and dogs in city
Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 10-Sep-2010

2010-09-10T10:05:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

40% flights fail to arrive on time | Judges join Facebook to catch up with family

Principals urged to bring joy back into education | Kids, go fly a kite

Frustrated Rooney said he wasn’t getting s*x at home | Fifa may abolish extra time at WC

Britney’s former bodyguard sues her | Sidhu is here!
Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 9-Sep-2010

2010-09-09T09:37:00.002+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber team up | Martha Stewart sued

‘We have secret weapons for MI’ | F1 MAKES VROOM FOR INDIA

NOW, STEWARDESS SAYS ROONEY TRIED TO DRAG HER TO BED | Mumbai girls head to CWG

Anil, Aamir and a moment in history |‘We Are Democratic’ explains karan johar

Mumbai’s getting more stylish! | Where is Chulbul Pandey?
Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 8-Sep-2010

2010-09-08T10:04:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

Kolar Gold Fields has 30L tonnes of gold, may reopen ...jaggu says let the looting begin!

Another untrimmed tree falls, another citizen dies needlessly | Auto drivers go on strike for ‘public cause’

Honest auto driver traces passenger, returns phone | Apply your mind: HC to passport officials

State hikes salaries of jail inmates by 50% | Educationists, parents to discuss fee hike issue

Pak files plea for 26/11 panel to India | Pak better at scaring smokers

When it rains cats & dogs, pets need that extra care| Only ‘well-heeled’ at Rahul meet

Londoners use bikes & boats in Tube strike | UK man loses job for being too fat

Republicans talk about me like a dog, says Obama |THEY HAVE DREAMS TOO

‘Salman is not my Godfather, he’s a friend’ | In pursuit of fame

Sunny is driving a truck again! | ...while Akshara’s set for London Olympics

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 7-Sep-2010

2010-09-07T09:41:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

PMO sends babus back to class | Classes begin, but students still seatless | ‘Board mum on which students get priority’

Rahul will focus on the youth during state visit | Post office agent pockets lakhs

‘Chidambaram doing a great job’ | Robbers go wild in west Ahmedabad

UK cracks down on student visas | Bachpan ke din bhula na dena

Eminem: I’m done with Carey | Neetu: Not sporting enough

Cheryl cole speaks out about betrayal | Christina Aguilera writes lipstick lovenotes to hubby

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)

News Headlines Remixed dated 6-Sep-2010

2010-09-06T10:23:00.000+05:30

Unrelated Headlines just for Humor

‘Cap CEOs’ pay, let co panel have final say’ | Airline exec dies of shock in freak mishap

Prank caller to CM’s house is a history-sheeter, say police | Blast from the past...

It’s raining women! | UNRAVELLING VICTORIA’S SECRETS

COMEDY OF ERRORS | Sports meets fashion

IN THE BIG LEAGUE |‘Buddy’ baatein

‘I want to kiss Sean Penn’ says Mallika Sherawat | ‘Afridi most difficult to please’

Guess who’s going to dinner? | Raveena’s not telling all

Sallu dances with the dabbawallas | CHANGING TIMES

Headlines courtesy Times of India (Mumbai Edition)